Monday, February 20, 2012

ba-ba.

i think we can all agree that raising children is the most rewarding, heart swelling, heart aching thing a human can do. when I'm away from my kids i feel an emptiness. life isn't complete without my kids. but this weekend i left them for two (point 5) days (2.5) (thats two and a half) with jeremys parents.

now my kids still take a bottle. and i don't care. you know why? because i can't nurse them anymore and that makes me sad. i see giving my children a bottle as a form of comfort. is conrad 2 1/2 years old. YOU BETCHA. am i ashamed he still has a bottle before bedtime? NOT AT ALL. and for those of you mothers judging me, guess what, i don't care at all. in fact i hold my head high. at the end of the day we are all so tired. we feed the kids, bathe them, and then cuddle them in their warm clean pajamas, read books and they suck on their little bottles and sink deep into mommy and daddys lap.

while we were away i told jeremys mom to give the kids their bottles. she is anti bottles!! no bottles! "grandma doesn't give bottles". i told jeremy he better tell his mom my children will have a bottle if they want one or so help me! no one denies my children of something that is comforting to them while we are away for my birthday/valentines for two nights.

when we arrived to pick them up sunday i was informed my children were not given bottles, or conrad his pacifier. jeremys mom proudly bragged and praised herself in the fact that my children didn't have a single bottle the entire time. i was so upset. i strongly felt like its not her right or responsibility to take away the bottle from my children. i am their mother and only i can and will have that hanging over my head. i felt like my whole body went numb when she kept bringing it up over and over. she was proud of herself. she said "they didn't ask for a bottle the entire time!". i know thats not true.

did my kids ask for a bottle when we got home? of course they did.

i guess my pride is hurt because i wasn't the one to take away the bottle. i don't need someone else stepping in to do my job. she even told me she tried making him go potty on the toilet. i just...thast my job you know? even if she meant well, there has to be common sense in all this.

parenting is hard is so many different ways. its hard when someone steps in from the outside and tries to tell you how to even raise your own kids. the kids i carried for 9 months, gave birth to, nursed 80 times a day to keep alive. the same children i bathed, fed, and rocked every single night of their lives. MY OWN KIDS.

thats it. how would you feel moms?

10 comments:

  1. I would feel EXACTLY the same way. It's true, I'm sure she meant well, but only YOU know your kids that well to know what they need, and only YOU have to deal with them day in and day out, so it is your (okay and maybe your hubby's a litte.....but not too much)decision to decide when to do these things!!! I am SOOO tired of moms jugding other moms because the aren't doing things "right". IT bugs me that she did that!!!!!! That takes a lot of balls for her to do it and then not think you wouldn't be bugged! Anyway, this comment is way too long, but I would give them the bottle right before you go over to their house! ha ha

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  2. So upset! I would feel just the same way. I still nurse Eli and when I can't I do a bottle, well...he might not NEED it, but It's comforting, I see no wrong in that. Why are people so eager to get kids to grow up?! I personally would have your hubby tell his mom how that made you feel. If my mother in law or even my own mom did that I would be so angry and intruded on as their mom. You do have the right to say when It's done, and if it works for your family, keep on! I hear that about the nursing, since Eli is almost 20 mos now. But it is my decision and we do for us. Go you!!!

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    1. You are the perfect example!! Because you still nurse and I am so impressed!! I never thought to have Jeremy say something! So thank you! I will def tell him to do so. Thanks for your input :)

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  3. My darling niece Janelle and I say to you Law Rhen...AMEN!!! We are both mad with you and for you. Janelle has two darling kids that she has to have in day care (part with family, part with friend) but she puts up with a lot of what you are talking about here...and it drives her nearly insane at times. You need to object loud and proud, because you are mommy, and that trumps EVERYTHING!!!

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    1. Thank you jan!!!! I love janelle!! Thanks for being on my side. I can be so passive and so agreesive at times. I wish I voiced how I felt. I love you guys!

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  4. Oh you know I am so with you. I'd be so mad if someone I trusted with my babies didn't do what I asked them to. Reason # 60987763 I am afraid to leave my kids with anyone. That is one of my worst fears. You definitely should have the say in how things operate with your kids. And I'm glad you hold your head high about your decisions. Too many people have opinions on how to do things and 1. They either don't have kids, 2. They haven't had kids in 30 years and don't remember what it's like. 3. They have kids, but not YOUR kids. So bottom line, no one knows how to mother your children better than you do. Besides, I'm 100% sure I have never seen a 16 year old drinking from a bottle. Conrad will stop when he wants to (or when YOU want him to). Also why I hate when people judge when your 2 1/2 year old is still in diapers. Um hello - who has to clean up all the poop accidents he keeps having because he's not quite ready? That's right, ME! So that's another time I tell people to mind their own freakin' business.

    P.S. are you ignoring my text message?

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  5. I agree with everything everyone else said. And if it were me I would have Jeremy say something and I would have him say it makes you mad, but that when she purposefully doesn't do what you asked her to do it makes you feel like she doesn't think you are a good mom. Cause she could argue why she doesn't think they should have a bottle and yadda yadda, but she can't argue with how it made you feel.

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  6. I am so with you. My MIL used to make comments like I shouldn't eat chocolate while I was nursing that it would hurt the baby. Sometimes I just need to eat chocolate! She also said the same thing about broccoli then she went to the store bought some cooked it at my house and told me I couldn't eat any of it because I was nursing. I could go on and on. My children are older now and guess what they are fine and we all survived. I also kept my kids on the bottle till they were almost three. Guess what they are older now and they are just fine even their teeth are fine. People need to leave the parenting to the parents. It's fine to disagree but zip it!

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  7. I am with you, toooooo! My MIL gave Claire her first meat, beef jerky, without permission, and I almost hit her. You know. Part-time vegans don't like the meat.

    And oh my goodness keep on with that bottle until it gets weird. I'm super into nursing, so I've done crazy bizarre amounts of research into the benefits (I know, so weird). I found lots of studies that said even though breastmilk's nutritional awesomeness lowers over time (we're talking over a year), there is this whole other part of nursing that is emotional. Basically sucking is supposed to be soothing, and that need to be soothed doesn't just go away magically at one, or two, or even three. Bottles can be a part of that. SO your mothering instincts are totally backed up by research. The sucking party shouldn't end until you or your kids are over it, whether or not you're nursing. Amen.

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