Sunday, January 8, 2012


hey lauren! its me, Lauren! its you! hey! you look so pretty right now. i do? thanks! no really, like STUNNINGLY gorgeous. like, you have a butt that just won't quit. seriously? yea, for reals. gee, i mean, i know but wow, all this coming from you? YES! you incredible creature.

today marked the day of both kids going into nursery!!! don't be alarmed. that noise you just heard was angles blowing their trumpets in your living room. wasn't it magical? did you get goosebumps just READING that? i know, me too. lets hold hands.

in our church. when your child turns 18 months they get to go into nursery! ---oh sorry, i'll tell the angles to stop blowing that horn. they can't help it every time you read that.

so i blissfully skipped and leaped and did lunges and ran and jumped along the wall and did cart wheels and somersaults all the way to the nursery doors. in a DRESS no less, you guys! i shoved conrad in with all my might, and gave him a glass of water, and patted him on the head and yes this is all stolen out of the grinch who stole christmas. no but really, and then TEARS. sobbing, snot dripping, hysterical tears. from my 2 1/2 year old WHOSHOULDBEUSEDTONURSERYBYNOWBUTHESNOTSOBACKOFF!!!! and scarlet? oh miss independent practically strut into nursery like she owned the place. she did a sassy black girl snap back and forth and everything. and then she taught all the girls how to do the "bend and snap" and all the boys were drooling over scarlet. oh my dear scarlet!

except, once conrad started to SOB then scarlet began to SOB and then i began to walk out of nursery and not look back. and then the nursery leader said WHY DONT YOU STAY?! and then jeremy laughed a hard evil laugh and peaced out of there! i held out my hand for him, and when the door shut i looked out that glass window and held my face right up against it and i began to sob.

so for the r453464564Ed4533435 sunday in a ROW, i was in nursery YET AGAIN. and don't get me wrong i LOVE(hate) it in there!! and then when i asked the nursery leader if they mind if i just "slipped out" she said "WHY HEAVENS NO!!! stay at LEAST 2 weeks!" (no i swear to you, she said that) and then i threw a tantrum and threw my goldfish crackers on the floor.

i dreamed of the day both my kids would be old enough to be in nursery. later suckers! mama gets 2 free hours to herself! (where obviously i would skip church, get star bucks and take a nap in the parking lot) BUT NO! they cry. and so i stay. and i do so with a heavy loving heart.

so let it be known you guys! if you think I'm inactive, just peer through the nursery doors and you'll see me, melting small small small. (primary song joke. if you're mormon you get it. if you're not, its about a snow man. you're welcome.)


  1. I love you and I just read this out loud to Russ and he said, "I like Lauren".

  2. Bahahha I'm dying. I pictured all of that like I was watching it on tv. And seriously we sing the snowman song in this house and see who can get the flattest on the floor at that "small, small, small" part. Seriously. And then when I'm in nursery with Collin and they sing that song he looks at me while laying with his face flat on the floor like he's saying "hey mama, what are you waiting for? Get down here." love it. I just have to smile and say "he really likes that song."

    Why am I talking about myself all of a sudden? I hate when that happens.

  3. LOVE IT! I feel ya my friend. I would distract Ella with a slide or a puzzle and then run out the door. One day, like two weeks before they are in Sunbeams, they will walk themselves to Nursery. Be Strong the force is strong with those two.

  4. Thanks for the laugh. Love your honesty! Love you!!!

  5. Your blog should be famous.....seriously. Mine is one of those lame boring ones we were talking about but yours id hilarious! I had a blast last week and I'm still recovering from lack of sleep! Cant wait to do it again when I come again! Love ya!

  6. Bahaha, you just described my last Sunday. I keep hoping he will love the nursery and bot cry, but yeah bot happening...yet. I love your humour!

  7. I love your blog!!! Stalker moment!

    Anyway, I'm in nursery for the last half hour of church (for the musica), and it's the funnest, longest part of church for me. That room is like a black hole, and when I come out of it, I'm always surprised to see all the adults. Part of me wants to race after them and yell, "WHY HAVE YOU ALL BEEN IGNORING MEEEE?!" So, yeah, you're not alone. Even though I can't imagine two hours in there.

  8. i dream of the day i can leave lincoln in primary...except i think i might shoot myself in the head if i had to stay. like with a gun. through my skull.