tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65734880136542207512024-03-04T23:06:40.212-08:00lkhLaw Rhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04461562106060958746noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573488013654220751.post-54240981198636813002014-08-19T01:55:00.000-07:002014-08-19T03:18:49.511-07:00first day of kindergarten! (warning, this post is mainly me complaining)(i wrote this post without capitalizing any sentences at all. then i decided to go back and capitalize them. then i realized that was too much work. so excuse my on and off capitalization in this post! and I'm just going to post it and not proof read it. its just too much work at this point)<br />
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I thought I'd write out Conrads first week of kindergarten for absolutely no reason at all.<br />
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Were you expecting me to say so i would remember these little things later down the road? that just seemed too obvious don't you think?<br />
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so okay. like right now, for example the Haitians need to come to America. but we'll skip that and jump right into Conrad's life as a school student.<br />
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his first day i woke up 6AM sharp. i was totally that mom who jumped right in the shower and got all ready and excited even though Conrad is a "late bird" at his school. they have the early birds (I am not an early bird so that's a big, HELL no thanks! I'm not getting him to school by 8:30 every single day. can you imagine? its just so…EARLY, BIRD.) so he's a "late bird", which starts at 10:35.<br />
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Jeremy, Scarlet and myself decided to walk Conrad to school because we can literally see the playground of his school from our master bedroom window. we thought how pleasant it would be, and the walk can't be THAT long. i mean, we can see the school yard from here! only that its august and 10am---BAM WHOOF KABLAMO! its already 90 degrees outside! like what in the crap? by the time we took that nice long wonderful hot delicious HOT (did i mention it was hot? it was hot did i tell you?) walk to the school i was dying. because it was hot. i loved that we did this because we are currently a one car family right now. actually we have been for almost 2 years now so I've been used to it in a sense. just not the sense that i have to walk places in the heat. the only place i walk to in the heat is the pool at our little community. oh right! back to Conrad! yes. okay.<br />
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He wasn't so very nervous. Huzzah! He's not a loud obnoxious kid when it comes to things like this. He's pretty chill when it comes to a big group type of environment so he was quiet and stood near us. We all waited around with the other parents and students IN THE HEAT in the section where it said his teachers name. It was very cramped and we were all kind of huddled together. There is just something about standing close to strangers and little children in the sun that makes you feel really joyous you know? Your scalp starts to prickle and you start to bite your lips and you think of how you could murder…oh look! Someones coming to take the kids to their classrooms! Girls called "proctors" are there to line up the kids and take them to their class. So we all walked to see his new classroom and meet his new teacher! We walked into his classroom! There was his teacher! AND! AND! AND! She was just sitting there. I think she said hello? I think? She already had her "early bird" class all seated on the floor. It was very quiet. I was expecting something. Anything? Some type of direction? Jeremy said to go look for his name on one of the tables. Thanks for the direction Jer, thanks for nothing Mrs stupid head. I found Conrad's name on a table in the far corner of the classroom with a big packet on it. I think I was supposed to pick it up? Was this for me? I looked around to see what the other parents were doing and some picked them up. I felt like it was my first day of school too. I felt lost and looked around to see what everyone else was doing. Do you remember those days? Oh I hated that I feel so lost what are we supposed to be doing right now in class? It gives me knots in my stomach just thinking about it. The teacher never introduced herself. Never gave a little speech. Nothing at all. I'm not even trying to be dramatic or lame, I promise. She didn't even make eye contact. The only thing she said was "Okay parents give your kids a hug and a kiss and say goodbye". That's it! No hello?! No welcome! No greeting the kids?! All she said was to come sit on the mat. Conrad looked at me with a helpless look in his eyes. Maybe because I had the same expression also. I smiled and tried my best to give him my most encouraging look! I excitingly said "Okay bud lets go sit on the mat!" He sat on the very edge on the side not close to any kids and I gave him a big hug and a kiss and he let me give him a big kiss which he normally is like "ew mom!" But I think he wanted it and needed it. I needed it too. It was all a little too fast too soon for me. Don't we at least get to spoon or cuddle for a second? Or…no? Call you tomorrow? You'll call me? Oh…well…okay? ….Nice meeting you? Did we meet?<br />
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He came home and said he loved his first day of school! He made a buddy named Michael! Michael is now his best friend and that's basically all he talks about. It was pretty cute. His teacher sent home a big packet of homework the first day to be completed by Friday. I was like whoa okay! Here we go! This is it!<br />
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Jeremy had to leave for a work convention in San Diego. Basically he gets to sit in a class all day then they all go out to a really expensive restaurant, order tons and tons of food. Its all paid for by his work, including drinks so everyone gets super super drunk and Jeremy gets to order steaks that cost 67 dollars which he claimed was just average (he texted me this while I was eating cereal. Oh the envy!) And he is the only sober one enjoying the show. Then everyone goes back to the hotel bar and stays out until 3am drinking all night. They stayed classy. Jeremy however doesn't drink, so he would be totally exhausted tired and pass out in his room at 11 and have no idea how his co-workers could drink all night and be able to work the next day. You stay classy San Diego.<br />
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So ANY WAY I had the whole first week of school to manage on my own. It was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. Trying to get Conrad to do his homework, (Hello tantrum) managing to get myself, Scarlet and Conrad all ready for the day while making sure he's had breakfast, being creative in packing a lunch each day, making sure both kids are bathed, dinner made, keeping the house clean, and all that jazz was sort of difficult. I would have Conrad start on his homework, run upstairs to give scarlet a bath, run back down because Conrad was yelling for me, run back up for Scarlet. It was so exhausting. Then I had to bathe Conrad because, duh, and he would get so sweaty from school. I give my kids a bath every single night but for some reason it seemed so much harder this week trying to get homework done, dinner ready at the perfect time because now he had to have a good bedtime! I mean, its a school night now!<br />
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We have to park far away to drop Conrad off at school. Scarlet HATED having to take him to school and picking him up. Getting her dressed and into the car itself was a nightmare. We have to get out and walk across the street and walk him up to his table and then all the parents would stand around and wait until these girls walk them to their classroom. We weren't allowed to go with the students to their classrooms but for some reason I felt like I should stand and wait until the girls were ready to take them back. Maybe because the other parents were also? By Wednesday I was like you guys are whack and realized it was hot and didn't need to wait around 5 minutes until it was time for them to go. All the kids just sat at their assigned table anyway. (In the shade, thank goodness) I think those were the overbearing dumb parents. Plus scarlet was like yo mom! i gots stuff to do back at home. i was so glad i had the car because everyday was so freaking hot! Then to pick him up, we all have to wait on this grassy area, then a girl has to unlock this side door and we all have to cram our way up this narrow stairway and walk into their classrooms and the teacher has to look at the parent and let the kid go one at a time. Its a hassle. I guess it is what it is though?<br />
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Day two of school Conrad didn't eat his lunch. I asked him why and he said the teacher never said it was lunch time. I was so confused by this and SO sad to know he was at school all day and didn't eat a thing! or drink! I asked if he went to the bathroom and he said yes. He looked really hot and flushed when I picked him up. I told him when he is excused for lunch he needs to eat. He kept saying BUT MY TEACHER DOESN'T SAY ITS LUNCH TIME! I was so confused?! What was the drill exactly?<br />
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Day THREE. I packed his lunch yet again and talked to one of the girls who take the kids back to their class and told her my son hasn't been eating his lunch and explained what was going on. She felt just as sad as I had! She asked what his name was and was sure to see that his lunch was eaten. He came home with his lunch pail full and super thirsty and dying to go to the bathroom. this sort of thing was seriously killing me. i felt so mad. what the heck is his teacher doing?! how can she not see that my son was leaving for lunch empty handed!? in his backpack i received a letter i owe the school cafeteria money because they fed Conrad one day. Conrad said "oh! my teacher said i need to give this to you!" i asked if he ate and he said no. well, just some carrots and milk. I thought THAT is what they fed you?! only carrots and milk?! i felt really sad and helpless at this point and couldn't help but cry. Jeremy is the major aggressor and really pushes me out of my comfort zone to be more bold. i am very bold but he has made me VERY outspoken when it comes to getting things my way. i mean, this is a no brainer but i just wish that Jeremy had been home this week because if he had been i know this wouldn't have gone on 3 days. i thought talking to the girl earlier solved my problems but obviously not.<br />
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Day four I finally walked with the students back to the class and talked to his teacher for the first time (like hello. don't you think she would introduce herself to all the parents the first day of school? i heard her take roll one day and she makes all the students say "aloha". one kid said something and she said "just aloha is all you need to say" it kinda made me turn my head sideways and want to slap her across the face. you know the feeling.) i explained to her that Conrad has not been eating his lunch and the whole situation. she said does he need to sit next to miss Sarah today at lunch? i was like, yes? i guess? who is Sarah? why does he need to sit next to her. you are his teacher you twat YOU need to see that he's bringing his lunch pail to lunch! which he hadn't been doing in case i didn't make that clear…<br />
that day he ate his lunch! yes! victory! he still is too shy to ask to use the bathroom. I'm thinking doesn't the teacher ask the class if anyone needs to use the restroom? does she? what goes on in that class?! i expected to have her send home a big letter of what to expect for the school year, or what a day in the class is like but instead she just sent home a packet of homework and that's it. so weird? i mean, this is kindergarten not senior year or high school. I'm so new to this school so i have no idea if this teacher totally sucks or what. so far I'm thinking yes.<br />
Friday Conrad didn't eat his lunch but had spilled a bottle of water in his backpack. i was so mad! and so upset! and on top of it all, the teacher puts in all of his homework, and books and the work they've been doing in class in their backpacks (i know this because everything is in separate folders that she puts them in) and everything was drenched in water! so I'm thinking, she obviously saw this and still put everything in there? so he came home with a back pack filled with all his paperwork completely falling apart. like WHAT IS GOING ON OVER THERE?!<br />
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I pulled out this gigantic stack of paper that they had obviously been working on that week. it was enormous!!!! i could not believe the amount of work they had done in just one week. i showed it to Jeremy when he finally arrived back home after his work trip and even he was amazed and he isn't a big reaction type guy. i finally realized why Conrad HATED doing his homework each night. i image all day all they do IS homework type stuff. it was about 30 pages worth of stuff. if not more. if you went to your printer and picked up a stack of paper that's how much they did just in class alone! I'm a little torn because i think, well its good he's learning a lot and i suppose its better to be pushed hard instead of the opposite. its just a little hard for this new mom who isn't used to all this new school stuff for her first born. (why am i talking in a third person?)<br />
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Conrad seems to be enjoying school so far. he loves playing and he loves his friend Michael. he sits next to a girl who he says he doesn't talk to because "he doesn't like girls". but at church he has a girlfriend i hear? so maybe he's just into the LDS chicks. i can dig that.<br />
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Conrad is still kind of questioning WHY he has to go to school everyday. He's like i have to go AGAIN?! when it was Friday i told him he didn't have to go to school tomorrow or Sunday and he gave me the loudest high five. it felt like a dude was giving me a high five like he just won the a basketball game. So theres that for ya.<br />
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so today is Monday and i had an early morning dentist appointment and Jeremy had to get Conrad ready for school. again his lunch wasn't eaten…but i forgot about the water spilling in his backpack and didn't realize there was a little puddle at the bottom of it. i didn't get him ready at all so Jeremy was fully in charge. he sent Conrad off to school with water in his pack and when he came home i pulled out sopping wet paper and his school folder completely ruined by water. so, did the teacher just ignore the fact that everything in there was wet and just slip it in anyway? these are the things that baffle me and seriously tug at my heart strings. so far this school year has been really hard on me. its hard not being able to protect my little guy and take care of him the way he needs to be taken care of! and watched over and make sure these things don't happen. I'm handing him off to this school hoping they will take care of my little guy and so far I'm less than impressed. Here is to buying a thermos cup today! (no more water leaks i hope!) and crossing my fingers it starts to cool down soon because we have to walk to school everyday now because Jeremy is back at work and i am left car-less! maybe I'll just drag out the stroller so scarlet won't be totally impossible to convince to walk with me.<br />
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and that my friends is Conrad's exciting first week of school! or was it just a long list of complaining about his stupid teacher? also…back to school night is from 6:30-7pm. oh 30 minutes! to talk to the teacher! how lovely of her to take out 30 minutes of her time for us all!Law Rhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04461562106060958746noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573488013654220751.post-28678759142767275592013-11-06T03:47:00.001-08:002014-01-20T00:43:10.435-08:00BEST DAY EVER!<br />
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well. i mean, you know those days where you go to Disneyland and you can walk right on any ride? Or when someone sends you a really beautiful bouquet of red roses (is has to be red roses you fool) and you gasp and say FOR MUAH? or you have really really great steamy hot sex? like you know what im talking about? today was like that. except, lets not relate the sex part to my really good day because that would be super super really odd and gross, but i mean...who doesn't like a good old roll in the hay? can i get an amen? would you like ahnazah roll in da hay? <br />
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so okay. im done being creepy. i think.<br />
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but today! oh today! <br />
it really was nothing special. i woke up in a sideways queen sized bed, laying next to my best friend who i call tokiko. we spent the night laughing, talking boy talk, me doing REALLY amazing yoga Skye! no. but tokiko? OH THE TOKIKO SHE HAS THE MOVES THE JAGGER! or could it be Jaguar? like the car? wonder if that song is about the car? how dumb would we all feel right now? when should i end my thought on this super important topic about a song that makes me want to smash mail boxes? is now a good time for you? let me know when you're ready to go on. <br />
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so. you know. i woke up to a text from my mom at 5am. on the mother freaking dot. hey mom next time time you text me at 5 am, don't. and so it was, i couldn't fall back asleep (THANKS MOM AGAIN! next time text me at 4AM! its fun!) and decided to get up and take a really nice hot shower. tokiko had the most luxurious shampoos and yummy girly body wash and a luffa that was JUST the right luffa. i mean, usually you dont use other peoples luffas out of common sense and all, but we're best friends so? and can pee in front of each other so i mean, its all cool. this post is kind of going down hill fast isn't it? i wrapped myself in a warm blanket while she made us oatmeal and then i ran off to grab my kids at my parents who had them for the night. sometimes you just need a best friend sleep over, you know? the kind where you laugh super hard and prank call ex boyfriends. YOU'VE ALL DONE IT. <br />
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but what made today so perfect was just this. being a mom. insert eye roll. and drag your mouse over to the X in the right hand corner and go back to your facebook page. BUT seriously! i walked in my parents house and my darling Miss Scarlet ran into my arms, (holding a chocolate piece of cake. cool grandma points there) and gave me a big kiss on the lips. Conrad had heard i was there and ran inside the house, his cheeks all red from the cold crisp mountain air and gave me a big hard squeeze. heck! he even kissed me! on the lips! and didn't wipe it off! we're really getting somewhere. <br />
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as we drove down the mountain home, the kids told me hilarious stories of how grandma and grandma got mad and said "UHHHGGG!!!" because grandma forgot to buy milk at costco. they talked and i listened, and i loved every dang second of it. they asked where daddy was and i explained he was out of town far far away working. "but why isn't he coming home?" "because he has to make money for us honey!" Conrad asks about 156 kabaizaglaon (that's a real word, look it up) a day. "well why didn't he take the car? how did he get to work? an airplane?! why an airplane?! i said because hes about 1,700 miles away from us but he'll be back soon. <br />
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You see, Conrad just adores his dad. I mean, he is the milk to his recess puffs cereal. Because scarlet cant quite keep up with him wanting to wrestle all day and he needs a man to chase him around and stir him up. Like boys do. I prefer to stay inside and play dolls, color, watch the real housewives and have a nice glass of scotch and water, hold the scotch. Listen here, I'm a girl okay? I grew up with brothers who beat me up all the dang time. I'll leave that to THOSE boys. <br />
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As we pulled onto our street Conrad begged to drive down to our house (it was like 4 houses down so everyone just calm down and don't call CPS just yet) (ahem) i promise he was 45% kind of safe. He loved it with everything in him. Must be a man thing. <br />
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The first thing we did was play cars. Bad guys and good guys of course. Scarlet found it quite necessary to strip down to her diapers to be iron man. i mean, whatever works sister. if ya got it flaunt it. I asked Scarlet, when will she potty train?! and every single time its the same answer, "in about 5 hours". Conrad dragged my hand all over the home trying to find the green bad guy car which i had NO clue what he was talking about and that's when i try to get all sorts of creative like HEY! you guys wanna go get some BB guns and shoot some stray cats?! gets em' every time. No, instead Conrad decided to play with our alarm system. I don't want to brag, but i actually do. That kid is smart! Like S M A R T. he knows the pass code, the exact buttons to push that mean we are locked in safe from bad guys and when we aren't. He could play on that thing all day long if i let him but i have this fear the police are going to show up and be like seriously dude? please stop setting and resetting your alarm 89 times a day its really exhausting. <br />
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By this time it was noon and I was so tired. (HEY MOM THANKS AGAIN FOR WAKING ME UP AT 5AM AGAIN!! THANK YOU!) so nap time it was! except, no. no they didn't want to. so while im off dozing in and out of sleep i see conrad and scarlet dashing down the halls, scarlet has pen all over her leg and conrad was crying because he had hurt his hand. I asked scarlet where did she find that pen? And she said what pen? and squatted down in the corner and said, "there is no pen? don't look at me!" she kills me dead. <br />
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after about an hour of getting these whack jobs to take naps i decided Conrad would sleep with me in my bed and scarlet in her room. Conrad and I slept side by side while i scratched his back, ran my fingers through his hair and that's when he stops acting like hes some tough 4 year old because my goodness. i had closed my eyes for a while and when i opened them back up he was staring right at me almost with the sweetest expression. i think he was happy to be having special time sleeping in Mommy's bed with me. he later drifted off to sleep and found himself curled up right next to me. <br />
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Later Scarlet woke up and it was decided it was dinner time! i made us a salad with chicken, bacon, eggs, tomatoes, croutons. we all sat together eating out of one big bowl at a time. after, we ate a little bit of ice cream and sat by the fire, lit some candles and i made up stories and they laid on their pillows by the crackling fire giggling and entranced by my really stupid silly stories. <br />
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Later, warm baths in my garden tub. Bubbles mandatory. Out of any toy they could possibly play with they love my face spin brush by washing their faces, and the squeegee thing you use to wipe down your glass shower doors for water spots. kids are so confusing. <br />
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into warm pajamas they went. and i promised them i would take them on a drive after we were ready for bed. i took us to our church parking lot that's big and empty and let the kids take turns sitting on my lap "driving". We'd count down 3....2.....1....BLAST OFF!!!!! and I'd step on the gas and the kids reactions were like Christmas morning. Laughing and excited and MY TURN NEXT!! <br />
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it was a simple normal, nothing overly eciting day. but its something i want to remember. you know, when they thrown tantrums in target, and everyone looks at you like they've never seen a kid throw a tantrum before? im like hey bro, you wanna take over? wanna share a secret with me how to not make my kid go wild when i wont buy him a 60 dollar batman toy. so you can suck it target shoppers. YOU HEAR ME? <br />
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any way. and average day of a housewife, but today was pretty damn good. Law Rhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04461562106060958746noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573488013654220751.post-47971193529411605192013-08-06T23:53:00.000-07:002013-08-06T23:53:58.625-07:00please dont hate me because im trendy......everyone who looks like me is my friend.<br />
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scarlet had her first day at church! she did so amazing! didnt cry once. i was so obsessed with her outfit i couldnt wait to have her wear it. [thanks aunt kristine! xoxo]<br />
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now. A warning. im obsessed with my house being spotless. i need it clean. i keep it clean. i wont let anyone see it messy. BUT for some reason it became a disassster in the morning before church, so please, dont judge me.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgGBqpQfzf27LV229O3KFjkq2HnmpMTJwDeOIHiIvjy3pib12LOwrZ2LwqoYbpURLA6plwFnmX1jH6JjyrymREwV_nAf89EKIr7Fg3vLc_tba3r2q-be05B6UKsbWZsV0H3sw6_weFRmKj/s1600/yo+baby+004.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5513606375700202642" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgGBqpQfzf27LV229O3KFjkq2HnmpMTJwDeOIHiIvjy3pib12LOwrZ2LwqoYbpURLA6plwFnmX1jH6JjyrymREwV_nAf89EKIr7Fg3vLc_tba3r2q-be05B6UKsbWZsV0H3sw6_weFRmKj/s320/yo+baby+004.JPG" style="cursor: hand; height: 214px; width: 320px;" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAcD3Q5f6Vb-KdDt32g8jpfLSemiFUKrl8gpBJZA1QId6yPGxRkVgBSxggZprw9ZZ7dhJvRNEmjp4-Ea__scmDSo7js0YPx9Xf5XMAmInwi2dkLEn3zBqA8eExrIrLiHWsoy-ehwFwG975/s1600/yo+baby+027.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5513607499408899330" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAcD3Q5f6Vb-KdDt32g8jpfLSemiFUKrl8gpBJZA1QId6yPGxRkVgBSxggZprw9ZZ7dhJvRNEmjp4-Ea__scmDSo7js0YPx9Xf5XMAmInwi2dkLEn3zBqA8eExrIrLiHWsoy-ehwFwG975/s320/yo+baby+027.JPG" style="cursor: hand; height: 214px; width: 320px;" /></a><br />
cupcakes<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYdAJqZl31mJepiwice4goEhUYPRSEwmPpJtq9m_mjCkclSAR0lfw8v3LfbY2rnYYsvcPdG6qGpCFVIYN4rQKkDMz364uHZNKKDjDpc8InOn4IpTxP3lQDgm7nC9rZ4Yr6o5fYC_mOKvPx/s1600/yo+baby+024.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5513607484195877730" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYdAJqZl31mJepiwice4goEhUYPRSEwmPpJtq9m_mjCkclSAR0lfw8v3LfbY2rnYYsvcPdG6qGpCFVIYN4rQKkDMz364uHZNKKDjDpc8InOn4IpTxP3lQDgm7nC9rZ4Yr6o5fYC_mOKvPx/s320/yo+baby+024.JPG" style="cursor: hand; height: 214px; width: 320px;" /></a><br />
can you see conrad on the kitchen counter in the backround? hilarious.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgILTdq5UlTFa-nVwBodcaEaFgKXoetMv4LNoHOfDwah-4RhhIfBwEltt2BdUPj7E2zjEgEVpGmZndei65wfmyPphrphNuvZV9xrgHgiDopLMOJagWiDRHfz4XRSUL05KJ47L6EvExfVrA5/s1600/yo+baby+019.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5513607470086157154" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgILTdq5UlTFa-nVwBodcaEaFgKXoetMv4LNoHOfDwah-4RhhIfBwEltt2BdUPj7E2zjEgEVpGmZndei65wfmyPphrphNuvZV9xrgHgiDopLMOJagWiDRHfz4XRSUL05KJ47L6EvExfVrA5/s320/yo+baby+019.JPG" style="cursor: hand; height: 214px; width: 320px;" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZHM8_GdnEMSwtcbTHCeKWkWlW7o1OOTVxa0Y6A0YxXf9sp7fvbjgVQJyQSXnwLJ6vJnvYVF7TtTPnQYygs5vBPdA3pEUaY7oTeh5f_-U1U93f7fCXXBx9cqZsByWk-EPCXowveEdo5hyphenhyphen3/s1600/yo+baby+016.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5513607467777547682" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZHM8_GdnEMSwtcbTHCeKWkWlW7o1OOTVxa0Y6A0YxXf9sp7fvbjgVQJyQSXnwLJ6vJnvYVF7TtTPnQYygs5vBPdA3pEUaY7oTeh5f_-U1U93f7fCXXBx9cqZsByWk-EPCXowveEdo5hyphenhyphen3/s320/yo+baby+016.JPG" style="cursor: hand; height: 214px; width: 320px;" /></a><br />
Mmm, very G.Q .conrad<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyFo68fhjaot07tPp53EREZ7iBJdWX-io0TlaoicA8oucK3X_Ir3EBNblJ24DbZp6SybiOKEl8wzMchHbLNs8G_QftzCQtGCZV9tnl6sfyuRrISdRtQAp6r7WYltrnvIz7jCOb59gcgeDk/s1600/yo+baby+015.JPG"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5513607459717863714" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyFo68fhjaot07tPp53EREZ7iBJdWX-io0TlaoicA8oucK3X_Ir3EBNblJ24DbZp6SybiOKEl8wzMchHbLNs8G_QftzCQtGCZV9tnl6sfyuRrISdRtQAp6r7WYltrnvIz7jCOb59gcgeDk/s320/yo+baby+015.JPG" style="cursor: hand; height: 214px; width: 320px;" /></a><br />
im dying over my messy counter top.Law Rhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04461562106060958746noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573488013654220751.post-55463884277172770292013-07-12T02:15:00.001-07:002013-07-12T12:23:45.274-07:00scarlet victoria-three years old<br><br>i remember being in a super sassy mood the day i went in for your ultrasound ms scarlet. i was filing out paperwork AGAIN and it asked me my occupation. i wrote out in big capital letters MOM and said a "suck it" in my head. psh, why else was i there ya big dumb jerks. i OBVIOUSLY had an infant in a car seat next to me. color me bitter at the time. i mean, i was shocked that you had decided to join our family so quickly. <br><br> i guess i should had seen the signs. when i'd nurse conrad to sleep the upstairs bed sheets made me sick by the smell. i guess i didnt realize my fatigue at the time because i wasn't sleeping at all anyway. i'd change conrads diapers and i felt like i had superman strength nostrils. i could smell the in n out 6 miles away if the wind would blow just right. you think im exaggerating?! because i am. but you get the point. <br> it wasn't until one moment in the morning when i was changing conrads diaper did i realize. i guess it helped that oprah had come over for a visit because she gave me my "ah-ha" moment. i kindly excused myself from oprah and said "listen girl, love you, hate your best friend gail but this isnt the issue right now, i need to run to a drug store PRONTO. do these pajama pants and unwashed hair make me look white trash? she snapped a picture to send to steadman but i didn't have time to wait for his response. i dashed out the door to CVS, holding my 3 month old baby handing the woman over the counter a pregnancy test. i tried not to look her in the eye but on the receipt she wrote down MTVs teen mom hot-line number. this story is 100% totally (not true) but i did buy the test and dashed home. on dasher on prancer! on comet and cupid! away we flew in our sleigh home! i handed conrad to oprah who was now eating all my potato chips and watching season 6 of her show (uh, vain much?) and took that dreaded test. i sprung for the howler pregnancy test. you know a howler? like on harry potter when they receive mail and the letter screams at you instead of just reading itself normal? it started screaming out PREGNANT! YOU ARE PREGNANT! HOLY CRAP DIDN'T WE JUST LIKE, DO THIS LAUREN?!?! <br><br>did i cry? no. no i didnt. i did what any normal new mom would do. i sobbed uncontrollably called my husband who was in atlanta at the time and what did he do? laughed. then shouted out to his buds, "hey dudes my wifeys preg!" all the while snot is dripping down to my toes and oprah is seriously ready to leave at this point. but before i asked her if she had a free car to give me. she wasn't amused. <br><br>thus it was decided you were to be a boy! a best friend for conrad! this wouldn't be so bad right? i mean suuuuuure i had gained 30 pounds with my first pregnancy i doubt i'd gain 30 more. cough...<br><br>oh but scarlet. OH scarlet. when i heard you were a girl in the ultra sound room, i shed a tear. of sadness. DAMN IT why weren't you a boy?!?! now i had to buy all new girl clothes! does that mean i have to own pink clothes? PINK? and aren't girls dramatic? and sassy? and oh my gosh what if you turn out like me?! im like, obnoxious? and im almost positive my parents tried selling me on craigslist when i was 16? girls are the worst! <br><br>fast forward 63 (give or take) months and im about to give birth to you. it was a strange birth. i decided to be induced because with your brother your dad was in atlanta and i had to wait 10 hours before he could catch a flight to watch you be born. man did that suck! i had to listen to my mother in law blurt out jeopardy answers in a rocking chair next to me during contractions. if there was any form of hell on earth that had to be it, hands down. but i decided to get an epidural and THEN be induced. how do you like me now mother nature? yeah, finally playing by my rules! i mostly just laid around and begged jeremy to feed me lemonade and chocolate covered pretzels. he said no, to all of them. hash tag: divorced. oh wait, okay so. oh! so! you're born! YES! <br><br>the nursed laid you on my chest and my very first question was, "can i nurse her?". and like magic, you and i were in the zone! i sat in silence and watched you nurse and i looked over at your father and said, lets have 10 more! this is THE BEST! he responded by not responding because he had a migraine and threw up while i was pushing! i was a really special moment. ....cough, aachoo. spoiler alert, it wasn't. <br><br>scarlet my darling, you are everything and more i could have ever dreamed for in a baby. you love to talk, and i love to talk, and its perfect! you love all things girly, and are very good at watching girly movies with me in bed. we have a special thing we do, where you lay your head on my chest and make a giggly whimper sound, and i do it back and we both love it. you will not under any circumstance do it with anyone else, and every one tries. but oh no, that is OUR thing. <br><br>sadly your favorite color is pink. how dare you. but i can maybe let it slide. you are so adventurous! im like oh hey scarlet jump in the deep end of the pool and you're like gotcha mom, I'm down. sometimes i throw a plate of broccoli and carrots at you and you're like heck to the duh I'll eat this stuff! you are not shy at all! total strangers come up to you and you pronounce yourself as scarlala, and proceed to let them know "hey my brother over there, hes a little shy. but he warms up if you give him hundred dollar bills". you prefer your bath water HOT! "no mom i like it hot! like super hot!! i want my skin to melt off mom HOT!!!!!" you are devastated when you cant go on the 40'' rides at disneyland. "i am tall enough i am!!! i promise!" i've tried sneaking you past those Nazi Disneyland workers and every time man, every time they want to measure you. I'm sorry honey. maybe we can buy you baby platforms? <br><br>gosh i am so glad you didnt end up being a boy. you love to cuddle, and tell stories to me late into the night. when i get hurt you run into my arms, pat my back and whisper in my ear, "its okay mama, its okay". and then i sort of pass out because its really too cute? <br><br>you're so fearless. to the point it scares me. you try to tell me YES MOM I KNOW HOW TO DRIVE THE CAR SO CAN I LIKE PLEASE HAVE THE KEYS NOW? and sometimes i say yes and let you cruise down sunset but only if you get your seat belt on okay honey? <br><br>you're hilarious. everyone who knows you just melts at your humor and adorable feminine behavior. you're so helpful around the house and also so sensitive. sometimes i hurt your feelings and you fling yourself on your bed and i swoon because its so cute, and all so sad at the same time. gosh, how do you do it? <br><br>you love to bake! you're always right by my side asking what you can help me do next, and if vodka is really necessary for peanut butter and jelly? you still have so much to learn scarlet. <br><br>theres no way i could handle having kids 12 months and 9 days apart if you had not been sent to me. you are so special to me. i cant even stand how adorable you are scarlet. your laugh could make Hitler grasp his cold heart and say OHMERGERSH that was ADORBZ!! you are my very best friend and sister girl, and gosh what wouldn't i do for you my love. i wouldn't let you watch barney, or any lame TV crap like that, but you know baby-steps. <br><br>thank you for being so eager to join our family. if only i had known it was you waiting so long up there for me i would have gotten pregnant 6 weeks earlier. did i say 6 weeks? i meant 16 years. <br><br>i don't even think theres words to describe my love for you. I'm not a mom who ever ever says this, but gosh i don't want you to grow up. i hope you always love to lay on my chest and play with my hair and ask to put make up on me. i hope you still ask every night to wear one of mommy's shirts to bed because you think they are special. i hope that when we finish getting ready you still let me squirt a little perfume on your wrist because it makes you feel so special. i hope you don't grow out wanting to wear all my jewelry and say all night "this is mommy's special necklace and i am being so careful with it". i hope you still will run into my room in the middle of the night after a bad dream so i can hold you and rock you to sleep until your body goes soft and slips back into dream land. i hope you dont grow out of wanting me to lay next to your bed every night while i tell you stories of princess' and evil witches and flying horses. gosh i love you scarlet victoria. thank you for picking me to be your mommy. <br><br> love forever and always and to the moon and back and etc and so forth! <br> mom <br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguKXWOH1nnbC9gQ6wyaB7f6Rb4s4gC6Vr8BHjVm08-o-95ZKLDM04x7oA1IdheZdqIOJ3l85X2QtFKFnBQkknBVaa45eHwkGx7ZKsHwHlhC2HJ9LAE20xOuB1U3dVqBpL2GqbwoY-QvmXU/s640/blogger-image--1071439913.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguKXWOH1nnbC9gQ6wyaB7f6Rb4s4gC6Vr8BHjVm08-o-95ZKLDM04x7oA1IdheZdqIOJ3l85X2QtFKFnBQkknBVaa45eHwkGx7ZKsHwHlhC2HJ9LAE20xOuB1U3dVqBpL2GqbwoY-QvmXU/s640/blogger-image--1071439913.jpg"></a></div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq2jmbmOl9WO7amuKM4cHRnRdpm7Y6fidbjoldotaaHWg9JJ1QCHnljmbbYXojsgli48UqRKGlWbcTsNNiAQytbIthNmrpv40-7tTKq-QcRMXbJP-2muMkkrHvAUtfC0Ubp2KtWcZ-Wqgx/s640/blogger-image-2063182242.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq2jmbmOl9WO7amuKM4cHRnRdpm7Y6fidbjoldotaaHWg9JJ1QCHnljmbbYXojsgli48UqRKGlWbcTsNNiAQytbIthNmrpv40-7tTKq-QcRMXbJP-2muMkkrHvAUtfC0Ubp2KtWcZ-Wqgx/s640/blogger-image-2063182242.jpg"></a></div>Law Rhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04461562106060958746noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573488013654220751.post-25860031015143529582013-07-01T16:16:00.001-07:002013-07-01T16:16:43.143-07:00cheers to 4 years! <br />
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i suppose i should have realized when i was pregnant that you'd be my greatest challenge.<br />
oh the morning sickness! oh oh to the heavens i will say oh again for thou'est sucketh! and the mood swings! so many tantrums, and tears, and woes i did cry out! being hospitalized for a month on bed rest just for you my little dude. we were in this together! i laid down so you could bake just a little bit longer. i think you came out medium well, just the way i like it. sort of pink but almost fully cooked, but give him to me right now please because i'd like to nurse that pink little baby.<br />
you could have nursed forever but your sister came 13 weeks after you were born, sucking my body bone dry! you poor thing, we both cried when we couldn't nurse anymore. but for the record we nursed the eff out of nursing! if nursing were a sport we'd score touch downs and baskets and goals and all that stupid type of boy crap.<br />
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fast forward four years and here we are. you're still alive! we should both give each other a very big pat on the back or at least a very loud cracking high five! huzzah! only how many more years to go?<br />
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i wanted you to be a boy so very much! i remember being in a small dark room and you were being very stubborn not wanting us to see if you were a she or a he. and finally ITS A BOY! rang through my ears! hash tag excited!<br />
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you are very curious and silly. you make crazy faces on demand and can ride a mother freaking bike better than any just-turned-four-year-old. you're favorite ride at disneyland is pirates and the little mermaid, which go perfectly together. kind of like popcorn and peanut m&ms? sweet and salty? yes? no? ok moving on...<br />
you know disneyland like the back of your hand. just the way mom wanted it to be. i was so scared having you born in arizona you wouldn't know the beach and disneyland like a true son of mine should, and low and behold you are a california boy! gosh that was a close one, amirite?!<br />
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i will have you know, even though you do know, that you are the smartest! one day you asked about time so i gave you a quick run down on our roman numeral clock hanging right by the door, and since then you know how to tell time! we're talking roman numeral here people! also you love to climb on the counter and get into things you know you aren't supposed to, but you're sweet enough to come find me with a big mischievous grin on your face with (insert: knife, nail polish, fire crackers, whiskey bottle, atomic bomb here). oh! and you can count super high! like up to 20! how much higher is there? thats TWENTY! do we even know anyone that old? i don't think we do? I am three according to you after all. you know all your colors. even the really weird ones like magenta and turquoise. and doesn't that remind you of that annoying dog on blues clues named stupid magenta. she would always show up and we'd be like uh steve, please ask magenta to leave because we have to go check the mail?! which reminds me! you love to hop on your bike and pick up all the newspapers along the way from the neighbors. and for the love of sam you cannot have them taken away! because life as we know it is officially over I NEED 14 NEWSPAPERS MOOOOO'OOOMMMMM!!! i feel like i should get a salary for being a part time paper girl? i'll look into it.<br />
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on to the best part, food! you love a good chicken nugget. and will NOT try anything new unless forced into time out to PLEASE just take a lick of this ice cream cone i promise you will like it! and then you do, of course. thank me later for instilling fear and food into your subconscious. and you're left handed! like me! we can sit next to each other at the dinner table!<br />
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you are by far my greatest challenge in life. you can take that in a good or bad way. whatever, I'm easy breezy. you love a good game of hide-n-go-seek. and trains! and cars! and tractors! and your private parts! sometimes its a little too much for your mom to handle. thats where i get all sorts of confused and scratch my head and go, um...please don't use that ever? thank you? so many questions? and lets not forget about your love of whales and sharks. for there is always a whale in that glass of water, that pond, that lake, the bathtub.<br />
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you have a serious obsession with rihanna. who could blame you? and ska! and one direction! and your dad! you looooooooooooooove your dad. when dad is around I'm suddenly the broken toy or something and i go hey! i carried you around for 9 months homie! not cool, bro. except i don't mind really. because dads are sometimes way more fun, and don't have to follow you around in stilettos and worry about their hair falling flat. I'm sorry, you won't understand this concept any time of your life. just know not to touch me if you just ate. its not you, its me. call you tomorrow?<br />
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lets move on to you and your sister, scarlet. hmmm, how should i put this nicely? well. you two love to fight. over anything. no seriously, you guys will fight over a piece of trash. i've seen it with my own two eyes! i have to buy two of anything ever but that really doesn't matter because you want scarlets exact same sword even though they are IDENTICAL. you guys wrestle all day long, and kick and scream and punch and bite! but when the sun goes to sleep you two both become best friends and demand a hug and kiss from each other or you will not go to bed so help us all!!! I NEED A HUG FROM SCARLET! THAT HUG WASN'T LONG ENOUGH! WATER! I NEED WATER! I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM AGAIN! MORE WATER! HUGS! WATER! TOY STORY! WHERES MY FREAKING BLANKET?! and then finally you fall asleep and stay in bed all night long. thanks for that. oh! how could i forget!? when it came time to potty train you, you did it all on your own. sure i tried to get you to do it, and you said nay! suck it mom! okay not really, but close. you did it when you were good and ready. so one day you decided to go potty in the toilet, and from here on out you have. you didn't even wet the bed? not once! i heard potty training is the hardest thing ever. you are so confusing to me sometimes? because you can go potty when you feel like it, but you won't pull up your underwear? i mean, you know how you just don't want to. i guess i would too if i had things my way...<br />
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we've some how made it these last four years. I'm not quite sure how, but we did. you're already becoming so big and independent. you no longer like to lay on my chest as i hum you to sleep. you're over being a baby. you're a "big boy" as you like to put it. and you are. you will always be my biggest little boy.<br />
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i love you like the day is long.<br />
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love,<br />
mom<br />
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<br />Law Rhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04461562106060958746noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573488013654220751.post-80392429630661789442013-06-16T09:03:00.000-07:002013-06-16T09:03:53.978-07:00"Here we are at seaworld"<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1BruZZJh2lzDpc2emslb9ypjWAF4gQ029uFrxw0F_xMD7JPBw5s06UVTJwtGQB6Ga3s7q1vPkxaxffz5JLj6X9i9knnPoSsG21h7H70scBbD7BLqTnNWS1JjfPkkRipf49mEvCUjl23xL/s1600-h/homerbob.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5349319897004230530" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1BruZZJh2lzDpc2emslb9ypjWAF4gQ029uFrxw0F_xMD7JPBw5s06UVTJwtGQB6Ga3s7q1vPkxaxffz5JLj6X9i9knnPoSsG21h7H70scBbD7BLqTnNWS1JjfPkkRipf49mEvCUjl23xL/s320/homerbob.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 320px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 240px;" /></a><br />
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This studly man is my Father. I like to call him Bobbie or Dob...along with the occasional Dad. On the streets of Rosemead people know him as El Guapo, hes infamous. [Would you say I have a plethora of pinatas?]<br />
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My dad is kind of a big deal. I mean, who can say their Dad rides a motorcycle to work with a shotgun on the side of it? [what does your dad take? a Hyundai? thats what i thought] He can shoot bad guys, pull people over, mace them in the face and they cant do anything about it. I think he even gets free donuts. Talk about a dream job. No, he's not a pimp..hes a Cop. A dang good looking one at that.<br />
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When he's not out on the mean streets of LA, breaking up gang fights, drugs busts and taking out the trash...He's wearing a nice white shirt and tie and carrying a Bible. My dad is such a hard worker. The second he comes home from Work, hes walking right out the door again for a meeting. ALWAYS meetings. He gets the best seat in Church though, so I'm pretty sure its worth it. Although I would say the Crestline ward is probably a lot tougher, meaner, and scarier than the streets of LA. I'm just sayin'...come to that ward one Sunday and you'll throw a parade for my dad. [Good thing Pat Dowden doesn't read this blog] Hey -that's just my opinion. <br />
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He's also a hit with the neighbors. Our neighborhood watch system was designed just for my dad. An alarm goes off whenever he steps outside because once he does everyone wants to talk to him. He's like the big man on campus, except its Zuger Dr. I don't know what their fascination is with my dad, but if he's outside..someone has stopped their car to chat, walk/run down the street to get in a wave, or is yelling off their balcony to spark up a conversation. I'm pretty sure one time I saw someone ask for his autograph...but hes too humble so he'd never tell me. <br />
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When I think of my dad I think of us eating the best plate of Nachos you've ever had [made by him of course] Hes my favorite snacking buddy. He comes ups with the most delicious snacks. He can make a mean batch of no bake cookies, and his signature trade mark snack is a spoonful of peanut butter with chocolate syrup poured in the middle. Yet he still has the tightest bottom you've ever slapped [just ask my Mom]<br />
<br />
I LOVE that when I look back on the years of growing up I think of, Disneyland weekends, camping everywhere! We've camped at all the state beaches, dumount, glamous, sequoia, even Disneyland RV park! My dad taught me how to ride motorcycles and would take us out on weekend days to ride all day long. He took our family to literally almost every Amusement park in So-Cal. Summer Vacation meant, we'd be going to Vegas, laying by the pool drinking strawberry/pina colodas, eating at the buffet, and doing it all over again the next day. <br />
<br />
Seriously. My dad is so much fun, and hes been such an amazing Dad all these years. Even when I'm the biggest Jerk of a daughter, he's always there for me. To bail me out of stupid life choice #4,643, or to come answer the door at 2am when I've been locked out. haha! I love that he's a great example, loving, modest, funny, spiritual, and my Dad. Thank you all that you've done for me Dad. You'll never know how much I really appreciate and love you. <br />
<br />
Happy Fathers day!Law Rhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04461562106060958746noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573488013654220751.post-10090674638451014812012-09-10T00:30:00.002-07:002012-09-10T00:53:27.295-07:00testing 1..2..3...<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">hello? tap tap. is this thing on?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
now i know most of you have been clicking re-fresh over and over until your eyes turned blood shot red to see if i've updated my blog and i don't mean to make you feel stupid, but seriously how stupid are you? stupid! its been private for like, ev-ar. hellur?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
i go back and forth about it. i love to write but hate knowing anyone can click on my link (all 8 of you out there! hi mom! hi grandma! hey creepy guy from google! how are you any way? long time no talk!)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
so this is just a test run.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
heads up! i hate when people link my blog profile on the side of your own blog. could you not? I'm such a diva, i know! color me a private person okay? COLOR ME. preferably red. i like red. and blue! although i choose to wear black a lot? color me gothic. is that a color? you lost me at hello...</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
i've made all my old posts private also. to start fresh. like a good clean shower! its like we all just took a shower together! oops! you dropped the soap. awkward.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
don't be surprised if you click on my blog and its private again. its not you, its me. works just been so crazy these days and i have a really early meeting tomorrow and stuff....? don't call me, i'll call you.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
so here goes nothing...</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
welcome back. I'm sure to do better next time. It was my first flight, and I'l still getting used to my programming! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #5e6568; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: 10px;"></span>Law Rhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04461562106060958746noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573488013654220751.post-17728984996378545652012-09-09T23:20:00.004-07:002013-11-06T21:50:59.699-08:00sept 9, 2012scarlet had something happen to her and she started to cry. she then said "I'm mad! I'm really really mad!"<br />
<br />
Conrad loves hocus pocus. theres a part in the movie where bet midler says " oh look, another glorious morning, it makes me sick!" Conrad now walks around the house and says "it makes me sick!"<br />
<br />
Conrad was talking to my mom about pirates of the Caribbean and he said "its kind of scary, but its also kind of fun".<br />
<br />
jeremy and i took conrad to dineyland and left scarlet at home. conrad is now 40'' and can ride some big rides there. Disneyland closed early for a cast party so we weren't able to go on pirates, his favorite ride. while walking to the car he stepped dead in his tracks and said "WAIT, WE DIDNT GO ON PIRATES!" and started to slowly walk backwards like, dude! you guys! we can't go home without doing this first!<br />
<br />
Conrad will sometimes tell us when he has to go to the bathroom. number 2 to be exact. he always asks us to close the door and turn off the light and he goes! so smart that little boy.<br />
<br />
conrad is 3 and knows all his colors, shapes, numbers, letters, the alphabet. he is so smart! i have a password of my phone and he can decode it after me showing him the combination only twice! and its not an easy squence like 1234, the password is 1303. i feel like he's so smart.<br />
<br />
right now the kids are obsessed with the labyrinth. they actually can recite the entire first part of the movie. like WORD FOR WORD. its really really crazy. <br />
<br />
scarlet is 2. she sometimes goes potty in the toilet. she's also very smart. talks a lot and is SO adorable!<br />
<br />
they have been to nursery twice without crying. EVER. jeremy and i usually have to sit in nursery with them or they will go insane. its the worst. but today they stayed the whole time! it felt so weird because they are the only 2 kids in nursery in the crestline ward. it felt like i had a woman babysit my kids for free. hmm?<br />
<br />
jeremy is looking for a job still and i think he may have found one. he flys to new york this tuesday sept, 11 2012 which is the date we were sealed in the temple! bummer!<br />
<br />
living with my parents has been hell on earth. my mom and dad do not treat me like an adult and are very immature. we fight a lot. my parents change their minds all the time and never remember that they do. i can not wait to finally live on our own again. not having a job is the worst thing and hardest thing I've had to go to. just yesterday we found out someone hacked into our bank account and stole all of our money. we literally have 0 dollars to our name. it is not a fun feeling at all. :( i feel helpless and out of control of most things. thats all i feel like updating for now.Law Rhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04461562106060958746noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573488013654220751.post-13069194241862987582012-09-04T23:20:00.000-07:002013-11-06T21:50:59.697-08:00the best jerry, the best!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIAkPBLZs-XYLCx8r7RAZReuhS1D4SM4oUA0eq2xwgjYTPkcHocOmBn3SVRbBinaBOIW76Ok-pzGfFT-YAbT_Z6Og0C7TnoFfe2QQgeDzH7ekrC4Fk8Yp8e_LxQF5QpHAafWnwllzKld5i/s1600-h/conrad3.jpeg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441664466178509746" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIAkPBLZs-XYLCx8r7RAZReuhS1D4SM4oUA0eq2xwgjYTPkcHocOmBn3SVRbBinaBOIW76Ok-pzGfFT-YAbT_Z6Og0C7TnoFfe2QQgeDzH7ekrC4Fk8Yp8e_LxQF5QpHAafWnwllzKld5i/s320/conrad3.jpeg" style="cursor: pointer; height: 320px; width: 240px;" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYOd_jsAQso8zVc8yUyTQWJW0q7iQiNCXn7C_lCVnU4syCH6ik7Lug17dyKeBqozbsmXlGFbicKJmAWofmDK-QtVXX6Hqrj6GKJeO4T6f5Sr04n9aDKpKhWz4UTCP4flO-Dw-AMSeoouIS/s1600-h/conrad2.jpeg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441664085849644402" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYOd_jsAQso8zVc8yUyTQWJW0q7iQiNCXn7C_lCVnU4syCH6ik7Lug17dyKeBqozbsmXlGFbicKJmAWofmDK-QtVXX6Hqrj6GKJeO4T6f5Sr04n9aDKpKhWz4UTCP4flO-Dw-AMSeoouIS/s320/conrad2.jpeg" style="cursor: pointer; height: 240px; width: 320px;" /></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz7S-YG_pOqrQqpTVnakon6kKEWFgnzW1_Q0TXYzuVLWhkcZ1rqTvwkSMOF5Ktm2op2WQHrqisuUEzP3m1f0D3VUd1JxPyQkHocF6Q2snIofUtpl2kA8Vao6u4T262ab1P7kfaAzvVNc09/s1600-h/conrad!.jpeg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441663796923245778" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz7S-YG_pOqrQqpTVnakon6kKEWFgnzW1_Q0TXYzuVLWhkcZ1rqTvwkSMOF5Ktm2op2WQHrqisuUEzP3m1f0D3VUd1JxPyQkHocF6Q2snIofUtpl2kA8Vao6u4T262ab1P7kfaAzvVNc09/s320/conrad!.jpeg" style="cursor: pointer; height: 240px; width: 320px;" /></a><br />
<br />
Tonight Conrad cried his eyes out when I put him to bed.<br />
I knew he would.<br />
After I picked him up the third round to rock the little boy to sleep he went insane. Crying! AND crying! Is he teething? I put numbing gel on his gums, made him bottle #2 and after let him suck on a cold teething ring. We laid on the couch for a while till finally I laid his little body back in his crib. I looked down at him smiling and he looked back up at me, and we both started laughing hysterically. We couldn't stop laughing!<br />
<br />
It was one of the best moments of my mommy-hood.<br />
<br />
And yeah, that was the final round of crying.<br />
<br />
Ha!Law Rhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04461562106060958746noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573488013654220751.post-46687336207950433252012-08-25T02:24:00.001-07:002013-11-06T21:50:59.709-08:00soul surferi don't usually do this. but i will for you. <br />
<br />
today Jeremy and i packed up the truck and took the kids to the beach. now i, being the hands on overbearing mother than i am laid out a towel and almost immediately took a nap leaving Jeremy to the wolves. (psst, that's code for the children. wink face) It was wonderful. <br />
When I woke up Jeremy had been bit by the wolves because he was all like "I'm just a little sick of watching these kids all by myself" and then a seagull flew by and he kinda faded in and out and i thought is my mascara all over my face? and how tan do i look? i wonder how long those people next to us have been there? was i snoring? did my butt look skinny? Jeremy's voice slowly faded back into my ears so i deglazed my eyes and said some sort of "Zzzzzsooeerrry me tired me go play with pack of baby wolves". why do i keep calling my kids wild animals? <br />
<br />
I slivered out of my mink scarf and Hermes frock and tied the string above my bikini to make it so my voluptuous breasts wouldn't fall out like a bag of apples from the back of your range rover. <br />
<br />
okay I tried gracefully to take off my target romper i bought 3 years ago and put on my over sized board shorts to play with the kids. IF I HAVE TO. spoiler alert, i was not wearing a bikini. i wont be offended if you feel you've been lied to and want to click the X in the corner. go ahead. DO IT. MAKE MY DAY. SEE IF I CARE? please don't go. I'm sorry baby, sometimes i just get so scared. <br />
<br />
i tried getting my kids to play in the warm ocean water with me. should i retype that sentence? WARM OCEAN WATER. like Betch are we in Hawaii? this is California where the water is always at a delicious mind numbing temp that gives your skin goosebumps that you're not quite sure will ever go away? you know what I'm talking about, bob. <br />
<br />
scarlet was brave until a wave totally B-slapped us across the face and ruined our hair and she was like OH-HEEWWWAALLL-NAH ma, i just got ma hurr done did. so i took her out of the water and begged for my little boy to join me! Conrad! Honey! Come to Mommy! Mother, knows best!<br />
<br />
as we walked hand in hand (kicking and screaming) into the water trustingly holding his mommy by the hand (clenching his legs around my waist for dear sweet life AND pulling down my bathing suit top. what a skill! men, right? anything for boobs. don't worry fellas, there is nothing there but saggy, bitter, sad, angry, nursed on for months boobies in that suit). Conrad, he was a little more brave than scarlet. "mommy are whales in there? sharks? nemo?" and of course like any good mother i said "YES YES AND OH GOSH YES!!! Conrad have you seen soul surfer? I'll show you when we get home!" Of course i tried to make it as fun as possible. Like, LOOK! a HUGE wave is coming right at as full force!! isn't this exciting?!?! we would plop and sway over the waves and -nah-ah-ah- he did not like it. oh mother mercy no he didn't. we left the water with him screaming bloody murder and i think one of my breasts was hanging out? i cant be to sure on this one? all the while I'm playing off the whole "KIDS AM-I-RITE?" face and kinda laughing when inside I'm like DUDE! if we live in California you WILL BE THE NEXT KELLY SLATER! <br />
<br />
i love days like this. (no sarcasm, i swear). Just me and my little family. i think I'm slowly just accepting the fact that I'm going to need eyes surgically placed on all sides of my head so i wont have to be running in circles. which do you think would be easier? the eye procedure or a nanny? a penny for your thoughts? <br />
<br />
its a crazy stage of life and i kind of love(hate)it but i know it wont always be like this. I've heard it gets better. granted everyone who has said this to me is at least 80+ years old and probably cant even go to the bathroom themselves anymore, but you know what? respect yo' elders. <br />
<br />
dude, this post made no sense. just roll with it and pretend it did, yes? <br />
<br />
and can i just add in a PS?<br />
Jeremy is beyond the best dad. sometimes i feel like i don't even know who i am when hes around. he fully takes charge in the fun parent roll. you know that whole "I'm so glad when daddy comes home bull crap? ITS TRUE!. Dem kids LOVE their papa. He plays with them in ways that i wouldn't even think up! i kind of just sit back in a daze and wonder who i am as a mother. when its just me and the kids I'm so used to our routine. just us. and i know I'm good at it. but when daddy comes home I'm suddenly the slave/boring parent and I'm like okay thanks a lot, i totally wiped poop from your butt like 10 times today and you run into daddy's arms?! how fair is THAT? but i really secretly love it. and i think we all know why. --because i get to check my instagram in peace. <br />
<br />Law Rhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04461562106060958746noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573488013654220751.post-7828307855943272572012-06-24T20:11:00.001-07:002013-11-06T21:50:59.717-08:00color me unimpressed.this is what Jeremy's sister thinks of me. AND I DIRECT COPY AND PASTE QUOTE!<br />
<br />
(quick bio on Shelley: its Jeremy's half-sister, she's 40, has no children, has had surgery to prevent children even though she was not married, has said "she hates kids" and has two dogs she thinks are kids! that seems like a contradiction of some sort. thats the sum up! enjoy!)<br />
<br />
"i don't know whats happened to you. (referring to Jeremy) you live in a "Lauren fantasy world" someone with little or no work ethic, no skills to get a job and contribute to the household, and holds no responsibility when it comes to having children. in the real world, especially for someone who hasn't held a job the entire time you've been married, doesn't leave their children for a week because their too stressed to deal with them, maybe if she had thought about the consequences to having sex and being responsible, other precautions could have been taken."<br />
<br />
instead of writing something directly to her, i'll just explain what is my "Lauren fantasy world". its really fun you guys, we have no responsibility here! ITS THUNDER DOME!<br />
<br />
<br />
lets start from the top then shall we?<br />
<br />
congratulations! you're pregnant! you will spend the next 10 months (not 9, i know, they lied to you) of your life growing a human child inside you! if you're anything like me, you will throw up all day long! it doesn't stop! don't worry, everything you eat you will soon be able to picture what it looks like in a porcelain bowl in about 20 seconds. your stomach will emerge into a huge beach ball and you will feel like a whale. do not fret! this is normal! some woman get "battle wounds" aka stretch marks which i did not have the privilege of getting. some woman even get them on their breasts! after you're over the "morning sickness" phase (this too, is also a myth. hint: it lasts all day. not JUST the morning! i know! can we file a complaint whoever came up with that phrase?) your mouth will taste like a penny all day. this is normal. soon will you start peeing your pants every time you lean over into the toilet. may i suggest you always have a towel underneath you? no need to thank me. (i was on bed rest for the last 4 months of my pregnancy, some woman skip this phase :)<br />
around your 6 month mark you will start to feel very unattractive. you can't sleep on your stomach anymore, your back aches, your ankles swell, and nothing fits. you will wake up to go to the bathroom about, oh, lets say, 7,000 times a night? that seems about right. you'll start to have really weird dreams and it will be really hard for you to get off the couch. soon labor will begin and yes, the rumors are true. it hurts. some woman have their husbands take them to the hospital when they go into labor. NOT YOU SILLY! your husband will be across the united states! my thoughts exactly! he'll spend $500 dollars to rush home and in a few hours you will have your baby! oh, your new mother in law will be with you while you are having contractions. you LOVE this. you didn't really want the man who helped make this baby to be with you did you? this ISN'T the movies!<br />
<br />
next stage!<br />
<br />
congratulations! you just had a baby!<br />
you are very sore now and will bleed out of your "womanhood" for a good 4-6 weeks. gushing blood really. you wear thick pads almost like a diaper. you have a newborn. its the best feeling in the world. you couldn't love anything more in your life! after a few days of your new child sucking on your now 45-DDD breasts your milk will come in! HUZZAH! do you know what "engorged" means? look it up. you'll need to know, because that's what your breasts will become. if you so choose to breastfeed your breasts will turn into rock hard volleyballs that will need to be relieved every 2 seconds. it hurts in the beginning and you get used to it. eventually. soon you'll get used to having your breasts exposed for almost the entire day, and any shirt you wear will become encrusted with your own milk. this is very sexy to your husband.<br />
oh yes that's right! your husband! you may have forgotten about him because you've been busy bathing a baby that is a little limp like a rag doll, changing "tar" poop, (turns into mustard poop, then mushy poop, then REALLY STINKY POOP) (and yes it will explode all over your fresh duvet on your bed) burping, swaying, comforting, trying to decide if its just gas? he's tired? maybe he's hungry? maybe his stomach hurts? did he poop? is he sick? was that a cough? maybe he's too cold? too hot? wants his mommy? daddy? to be entertained? is there an ant in his shirt? does his newly circumcised penis hurt? are we out of diapers? i just nursed him, but maybe he needs to be nursed again? oh he just exploded poop out and its all over himself and your hands and you just changed your shirt, his shirt, and just finished draining his bath water .3 seconds ago. and he also just spit up on you. some just got in your mouth. OH RIGHT YOUR HUSBAND! yes, no, you can't have sex with him. and when you do, i'll just say this. "razor blades". that's all I'm going to say.<br />
<br />
next stage!! another one?!<br />
<br />
congratulations! you have a toddler and a newborn! what are you going to do now?!<br />
your husband travels to the east coast every single week. FIVE days a week to be exact! You now have to do this all on your own! don't worry, you're also in another state where you don't have any friends or immediate family close by. post-pardom my ass! right?!<br />
your life now consists of managing two different nap times. you have a child who goes to bed at 9, and another who wakes up AT 9pm and stays awake until about 5am! don't worry! you'll get at least 2 hours of sleep before your other baby wakes up. life isn't cruel, silly head. you didn't think life would let you go on with ABSOLUTELY ZERO HOURS OF SLEEP NOW WOULD YOU?<br />
You are out of groceries. its 114 degrees out. what do you do now? well first you run down the stairs of your apartment building and go turn on the car to start up the A/C. you cross your fingers no one steals your car. BUT FIRST you can't leave home without a diaper bag ya'dumb idiot!! first, make sure your children are fed, rested and happy before you leave the home or.......well, you'll see. (WINK FACE)<br />
in said diaper bag you will need diapers, (uh duh) wipes, snacks, toys that make noise, bottles, blankets, keys, wallet, diaper cream, vaseline, pacifiers, hand sanitizer, maybe a little snack for yourself, (if you must be so selfish to think of yourself at a time like this).<br />
lug both children in your arms down the stairs. success! your car is still there! i guess all those prayers are working?!<br />
you will be sweating profusely at this point, just get used to it. the world is VERY impressed if you've managed to throw on some mascara and a clean shirt. *clean shirt optional.*<br />
once you get to the grocery store both children will be screaming. do not be alarmed. this is normal.<br />
first you circle the parking lot to get a spot up front towards the store. you finally find a spot! ......at the very far end of the parking lot and there is no grocery carts in sight. don't forget your 60 pound diaper bag and children, (both of them) and waddle as fast as you can up to grab a cart! the first thing you do is hand them toys, snacks, bottles, your car keys, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY ANYTHING to make them happy! HAND THEM AN ENTIRE BAG OF CHIPS ROLLED IN SUGAR IF IT MAKES THEM STOP CRYING! your kids will then begin to throw everything out of your cart, or demand that they eat whatever it is at.that.very.second. you try to explain to them that they can't eat that bag of flour, but they don't care. THEY WANT THAT BAG OF FREAKING FLOUR.<br />
you finally arrive home. bring both children up into your apartment. you run up and down the stairs unloading gallons of milk and cases of water and yes, you forgot almost 99.9% of everything you needed at the store that day. this to, is normal.<br />
<br />
moving on!<br />
<br />
wait! you're still here?! well gold stars all around! you've survived life with children! is there someone who gives out an award for that? -oh there isn't? oh, no one really recognizes what you do? wait i don't understand? you mean to tell me, that AFTER ALL THAT NO ONE EVEN GIVES YOU A TROPHY FOR THIS STUFF?!<br />
<br />
so every single day you:<br />
wake up at an ungodly hour, change diapers before you can even go to the bathroom yourself? feed 2 other humans, dress them, play with them, teach, kiss, hug, nurture, discipline, love, cuddle, scold, make their beds, clean up their messes, fill up their sippy cups 4 million times a day, change the sheets they just peed in, change another diaper, play "find that smell", deal with tantrums, sacrifice showering when you want to, try to make an important phone call only to be interrupted by loud squeals, cries, wants, needs, voices, toys clinking together, kids fighting over a freaking piece of lint! LINT YOU GUYS! try to talk to your husband when he gets home from work only to have 2 other children tugging at his legs, trying to talk to him, one is crying because the other won't share, make dinner, clean up dinner, sweep, vacuum, clean the toilets, bathe filthy children (nightly) lotion (nightly) make sure there is clean clothes, pajamas, etc..., groceries, toys picked up, diapers on hand, medicine on hand, stay up all night holding a sick baby, a crying baby, a needy baby, a cuddly baby, a happy baby, just because you feel like holding your baby baby, clean the windows, pay the bills, do about 7 loads of laundry and realize you haven't folded one piece of your own clothes, tickle, giggle, make silly faces, arrange play-dates for social interactions, be creative on a 20 second basis, build forts, scrub crayon off the walls, play pretend, hide-n-go-seek, make snacks, make 4 different dinners for them all to be rejected, listen to a child cry uncontrollably when you are trying to deal with a stressful situation, have others judge the way you raise your children/talk to them/treat them/dress them/etc, have others give you unsolicited advice, talk to random strangers and tell them information about your children because they asked, deal with people trying to touch your baby, watch your kids every move almost every waking second of the day to make sure they don't eat poison, get kid-napped, drown, cut themselves, fall, scrape their knee, hit another child, make sure another child didn't hit them, hold them while they teethe, clap for them when they walk for the first time, teach them their first words, colors, shapes, how to spell, to be polite, to be kind, gentle, soft, nice, creative, smart, happy, sacrifice extra money for clothes for them. instead of yourself? wait, huh? when its nap time you do chores instead of play on Facebook? go to bed at 9pm on a friday night because theres no such thing as a day off. rearrange your whole entire life, marriage, social life, all for a kid, AND YOU DON'T GET AT LEAST A GOLD STAR FOR THAT?! well thats just silly. silly, silly silly.<br />
<br />
so, who wants to come live in my fantasy world?! anyone, anyone?Law Rhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04461562106060958746noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573488013654220751.post-38941510898103846072012-06-22T23:40:00.003-07:002013-11-06T21:50:59.703-08:00a letter to myself.dear 25 year old lauren,<br />
hello, its you! how are you?<br />
i'd like to give you some advice for the future and give you some insight about who you'd like to be. you're welcome you adorable creature you.<br />
<br />
first and foremost these past 11 days have been very, very hard on you. you're husbands sister has lashed out in an argument between your husband and to make him angry said the meanest most awful things about you. they rocked you to the core and hurt your heart and soul. she said Jeremy lives in a "fantasy Lauren world" "someone with little or no work ethic, no skills to get a job and contribute to the household, and holds no responsibility when it comes to having children. in the real world, especially for someone who hasn't held a job the entire time you've been married, doesn't leave their children for a week because their too stressed to deal with them, maybe if she had thought about the consequences to having sex & being responsible, other precautions could have been taken."<br />
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at first this made me sad. why does she think i am a bad mother? are they not alive and well? happy and fed? tickled and bathed on a nightly basis? know primary songs from our church and give really great kisses and hugs. this is coming from a 40 year old who has said "she hates kids" and never wants any.<br />
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I'd like to tell you this Lauren. you are a great mother. keep doing what you are doing. you're doing great. sure you've made some silly mom mistakes, but everyone mom goes through that. and its okay.<br />
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remember that one night when you had just given birth to scarlet, had a 12 month old and had an appendicitis and your husband was passed out from NyQuil and was not able to help you during that night of the worst pain you'd ever felt in your life? you could barley move your body, but you stayed up all night nursing your little girl, running downstairs to change your other babies diaper, and so forth for the other newborn. that night was pretty rough. bad mom?NAY!<br />
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remember when you went on bed rest 3 weeks after you were married (and pelvic rest no less, NO SEX! RUDE!) up until a month before delivery? you did all that for your son so he could be alive today. don't forget how you were all alone in the hospital for days while your husband was in Georgia on business. you had just moved to Arizona and was new to a family you had just married into. you were so lonely and sad. but you got through it. good for you.<br />
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don't forget the times your husband traveled for 5 days a week while you lived in Utah and did it all on your own with no help at all. your brother Nathan would drive an hour to babysit your kids on the weekends when you really needed a date night. tell him thank you again for that.<br />
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Lauren, remember you are a great mom. you love them very much, and love your husband more than anything in this world. I'd like to tell you to never be that mean girl. please be kind to others. i know you are so sorry for all the fights you've ever been in with old friends. you are not that person. be kind to everyone. you've finally met someone who has been even more evil than you could have ever imagined. you thought you were tough until you met someone who could take it to a whole new level and you now know how it feels. don't be like this. always have the light of Christ, and be the best person you can be. know who you are, a daughter of god. and quite frankly, i think you're pretty cool.<br />
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stay strong. this too shall pass.Law Rhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04461562106060958746noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573488013654220751.post-35886583121841033002012-05-26T22:15:00.000-07:002013-11-06T21:43:11.084-08:00today was long and hard.<br />
<br />
as i scrubbed my bathrooms and floors, only to be splashed and played on almost immediately. i wish i were even slightly exaggerating, i thought, damn i have a good life.<br />
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later as the day progressed, and the kids began the terrible bewitching hours my soul started to slowly get darker and darker. i felt angry and anxious. so many cries. so many whines. so much touching of mommy. and then i sink into my hole that i try so hard to stay out of. when i feel like my world is nothing but black i try looking up for a glimpse of light. "please don't let me go back to how i was last month." the lowest of depression i'd ever felt in my life. i wanted to be in a coma, i couldn't even handle my own emotions. my mind, spirit and soul couldn't bare to be with my physical body. not even a good hard prayer could help. it was depression all right. and it came with an entourage. anxiety, panic attacks, crying over nothing. i couldn't even watch tv, it made me too angry.<br />
<br />
i slowly slipped out of my PMDD and i started to feel like life was being injected back in my veins. my heart didn't weigh 100 pounds, my heart rate slowed down, sunshine in my soul.<br />
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and then 28 days later the same demon comes back to haunt my body and mind.<br />
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Jeremy took me on a date tonight. i couldn't believe i was able to make it out the door with the kids without punching a wall. it felt liberating to drop them off and drive away in silence. i didn't even feel like talking. i soaked in the silence. sucking in deep relaxing breaths. Jeremy and i didn't need to talk. we both knew what we wanted. peace.<br />
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when we arrived home after out date anxiety hit again. the crying started back up. "no naps!" "i want a bottle!" "i want to sleep in your bed!".<br />
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Jeremy and i laid our children down, and they put up a hard fight. i dragged my body to my bed and collapsed with exhaustion. "i can't do this anymore. i need a break. but i feel guilty leaving my children." we started talking about back when we dated. how stupid and young i was to have made the mistakes we made. i tried explaining it in words. "this sounds awful, and i love Conrad, and i wouldn't take it back, but i would. how could we have been so irresponsible? why weren't we more safe? i said.<br />
" and..., i know we could take a vacation, and even if we sleep all day, i still have two big responsibilities waiting for me at home. that will never go away. they are mine forever and i can never go back to the way things were. the only thing that mattered was me, and i miss that. its just so much to take in, you know?" Jeremy nods and understands. "and it will get different. as they grow older, we'll have new problems to worry about" Jeremy explains. suddenly i feel even more overwhelmed. "i know." i said with my head on his chest.<br />
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sometimes its too much to think about. i am no longer just Lauren. i am in charge of two (three?) people and their well-being. can i take on this task? its so hard when i feel so low.<br />
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when i feel this way i want to rebel. i don't want to go to church, wear my garments, have relationships with family members. i feel out of control and i just want to be treated like an adult. the constant worry of the judgement i feel from my parents, Jeremy's parents. how i dress, how i raise my children. its all too much to take in.<br />
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I've never thought in my life i'd come to such a low and happy place in my life. my whole entire life changed one fall night. i sat in my boyfriends bathroom alone, with a plus sign staring me right in the face. i look at the towel rack with my mouth open. tears welling up in my eyes. "how will i tell my mom?".<br />
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i'd say i had a happy ending luckily to all this madness. heavenly father knowing what was best for me. he knew scarlet was supposed to come quickly after, and for what ever reason he thinks i can do it. i hope i can. its just really hard some days. and today, was one of those days.Law Rhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04461562106060958746noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573488013654220751.post-51410712316470134222012-04-14T21:34:00.004-07:002013-11-06T21:50:59.714-08:00hap. i. ness.oh hi there. do you come here often? wanna order a pizza? i'll tip. <div><br /></div><div>lately I've been so unseasonably emotional lately. which makes a lot of sense considering i just ended my period (OH HI THERE TMI) and I'm all like WHAT THE HEY body? usually before i start my period i am in the woes and the ohs! and the i don't wish to get out of bed today but thanks for asking conrad and scarlet. theres fish fingers in the microwave, heat it up if you get hungry. (matilda quote anyone? anyone?) so back to my pointless rant. boy have i ever been emotional. but like, the good kind of emotional where you cry over a wheat thins commercial because WHO DOESNT LIKE WHEAT THINS? and then tonight while i watched ABC's titanic i was like sobbing? and then reading a blog post on a newborn baby, i was super annoyed because i had just done my dern make up. mascara, EVERYWHERE. so, so rude. </div><div><br /></div><div>and then tonight while scarlet requested i sing tangled for her, i felt like i had snorted a line of ecstasy i was so happy. I'm a really good mandy moore impersonator and stuff. </div><div><br /></div><div>and then when jeremy came home from grocery shopping for chocolate he surprised me with bomb pops and i wrapped my leg around his waist and started dancing to which he replied "I'm not in the mood for this" and i laughed and danced harder and after all, he did marry a child. i like him.</div><div><br /></div><div>and i don't even hate people like i usually do. ok lets not get carried away, i still loathe a few people. and I'm not even on anti depressants! </div><div><br /></div><div>and isn't this an odd post? its the after my period high. its really nice. but did i mention i PMS like whoa? its bad. but i won't think about that now, i'll think about that tomorrow. after all, tomorrow is another day.</div>Law Rhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04461562106060958746noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573488013654220751.post-45909844804257867202012-02-25T22:12:00.016-08:002013-11-06T22:02:17.983-08:00seederdai<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
this saturday started off fantastic!</div>
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jeremy let me sleep in! he is so good to me. he knows sleeping in is my greatest JOY! to top it off by the time i woke up the kids were already napping so i got to shower in peace and quiet. then i was trying to think of things to do on a saturday with the family. costco for pizza slices? the park again? when the kids got up jeremy left to get a hair cut and i took the kids on a bike ride. it was so nice out today! when jeremy got home he decided to wash the car. he told me to get the kids in their bathing suits. the day was quickly turning into a lazy day. conrad was obsessed with the hose and scarlet was helping jeremy wash the car. i sat outside watching my children play and it was this overwhelming feeling like, this is the best thing EVAR. this is a happy life. i'd watch conrad whip the hose around and laugh his head off. i can't even explain it. it was like, I'm going to have a heart attack, I'm so in love with right now. never had i been so happy to be sitting in the sun, watching my children play. after a rough week emotionally with all these things jeremy and i are dealing with, i honestly felt like it was heavenly father blessing me with this perfect moment. without sounding weird or cheesy it was almost a spiritual moment. my heart was bursting at the seams. i said a little prayer of gratitude, for having healthy children. for living in a house. for happy children. for wonderful moments like this that make life worth living.</div>
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we were out playing in the water for over 2 hours! conrad would pull scarlet in her wagon all around the neighborhood. up and down the street. its a long street too! he would throw a fit if scarlet would want out or if i tried getting him to walk back to our house. before i knew it, it was dinner time! i gave the kids a very bubbly bath. so splashy! we ordered pizza from this mom+pop pizza place. its the best pizza ever! a large for 8 bucks to. can't beat that. CANT BEAT IT I SAY! we put on a movie, ate our pizza and jeremy shared a bowl of girl scout thin mint ice cream with the kids. today was the perfect saturday. it didn't even feel like work taking care of the kids. sometimes when i read that people are just hanging out on a saturday i don't even think that sounds relaxing because guess what? theres no such thing as relaxing when you have kids. but it didn't feel like that at all. it felt relaxing and like it aint no thang. sook it.</div>
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and then i sent jeremy to the grocery store for a roast for sunday and he came home with these. :) </div>
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happy saturday! </div>
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Law Rhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04461562106060958746noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573488013654220751.post-8927622320103020422012-02-24T23:01:00.007-08:002013-11-06T21:53:45.861-08:00family of 4.jeremy and i decided to "take a break" from his parents and just keep it our little tight family for a while. his parents always watch the kids on fridays so we can have our weekly date night and we go to their house on sundays for dinner. and then all throughout the week as a way for me to escape the "witching hours" of my daily routine. it was getting a little much for me. it was really hard moving away from my life in california where all my friends are. i felt like if we lived there the kids would have such a wonderful life of play dates and activities (cough cough, disneyland and the beach, cough) so jeremys family was literally all i had. and lets be honest it takes a village, am i right people?! <div><br /></div><div>but since we've moved back to arizona (from utah. thats a whole other post i need to write about) i have been hanging out with seriously, the most rad, down to earth chicks. I'm finally coming into my own and building a small simple life for us here. i can't tell you how great it feels to know that i can actually call someone to go to the park with me. i used to cry that before EVEN IF I WANTED TO i wouldn't have anyone to call to do that with. I'm really grateful for the few girls i know here who have gone out of their way to be my friend. i literally will not make friends because believe it or not, i am never the one to "make the first move" (wink) (non sexual pun not intended. what am i talking about?). okay but where am i going with this? I'm not quite sure. </div><div><br /></div><div>today i went to the zoo with a really cool girl in my ward. then we met up with daddy (not MY daddy, but you know, DADDY) and went out to dinner as a family. ON A FRIDAY! and then the park. it was just so perfect. i felt so happy pulling into our driveway feeling like we had the most wonderful day as a family together. we spent our date night with our two little miniature sized dates and i hope conrad and scarlet call us because i really liked going out with them.</div><div><br /></div><div>any way. I'm slowly writing in my blog more for me and it seems odd that other people can read about it. i just really wanted to remember today, because it was sort of perfect. :) (and, you may throw up now.)</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6aR8Qjqt13AOL6FZkbW6RHXHvNgRMKJW92_8Q4avs7AugWq-O8_efeLnhLQ1TR3TJjPpBPGj_cSofECPY08DxAu4WeAT0Ol7oYCcytXsq2-oABCxFJ_X51Nf-UCQSfB-gE27KD76EQp0j/s640/blogger-image-1894552225.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6aR8Qjqt13AOL6FZkbW6RHXHvNgRMKJW92_8Q4avs7AugWq-O8_efeLnhLQ1TR3TJjPpBPGj_cSofECPY08DxAu4WeAT0Ol7oYCcytXsq2-oABCxFJ_X51Nf-UCQSfB-gE27KD76EQp0j/s640/blogger-image-1894552225.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">(scarlet saying...dude conrad, are you seeing this turtle!?)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEira5oATzt4WRRytK5wKgjJu6sU2yb7SaRGVNwb5tAuCkLfADeXFCipZ96mcTmEinI_xghwHeHibxa6F8uDVdR4rQjBoiJBSdNThRN2w2xRQ0zMv4zk90Enj7BgT2S4HB9ERiqhjWdwX8He/s640/blogger-image--1826835059.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEira5oATzt4WRRytK5wKgjJu6sU2yb7SaRGVNwb5tAuCkLfADeXFCipZ96mcTmEinI_xghwHeHibxa6F8uDVdR4rQjBoiJBSdNThRN2w2xRQ0zMv4zk90Enj7BgT2S4HB9ERiqhjWdwX8He/s640/blogger-image--1826835059.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">(this is how conrad smiles)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_UHbqke7fM2wWgcypcuGlfCr1XqGRz3SUkKXrg6anoSeYFqSq7IXUZFq4bcglhs1iZyQmJyMKctqoWYY18kmFgmK9aPb6kVzGHvNPxB5xfpI7J3njW17T6YI9eHCsjMcGei_FlJ1FVMDw/s640/blogger-image-457401745.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_UHbqke7fM2wWgcypcuGlfCr1XqGRz3SUkKXrg6anoSeYFqSq7IXUZFq4bcglhs1iZyQmJyMKctqoWYY18kmFgmK9aPb6kVzGHvNPxB5xfpI7J3njW17T6YI9eHCsjMcGei_FlJ1FVMDw/s640/blogger-image-457401745.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">(from the other day)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOJ8sssuP4l2kA-eALEKJ8uC8-sOzP9ibfEcdPqf2bvvZhkVLrBTa9kzmOx2GDL4Eno05Or0fUJwtCzHM6RAYpVxW8nGsjoR155tKtRe-1Yek-U82shSUvYFhPhmLhyphenhyphena56ZPfarzt2VER4/s640/blogger-image-2050331286.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOJ8sssuP4l2kA-eALEKJ8uC8-sOzP9ibfEcdPqf2bvvZhkVLrBTa9kzmOx2GDL4Eno05Or0fUJwtCzHM6RAYpVxW8nGsjoR155tKtRe-1Yek-U82shSUvYFhPhmLhyphenhyphena56ZPfarzt2VER4/s640/blogger-image-2050331286.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">(night bike ride!)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_aqqXsGVnzCBDsSzUuTPtEYojI7T-AGOphCAO8Af5YKPY2ESVU3kEXk3T3uGIWeeLGRMc0hoG60eT2fwbwCft-rME3u34gnHsRpuBOfeLoh2uMeJqE9qti4vOeMpRgZQlZNqGpySg4SZ5/s640/blogger-image-933168948.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_aqqXsGVnzCBDsSzUuTPtEYojI7T-AGOphCAO8Af5YKPY2ESVU3kEXk3T3uGIWeeLGRMc0hoG60eT2fwbwCft-rME3u34gnHsRpuBOfeLoh2uMeJqE9qti4vOeMpRgZQlZNqGpySg4SZ5/s640/blogger-image-933168948.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">(today from the zoo)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXIEcYw8MZnCM6AkkQtwBK4BJh_j4eUr4GMtW-cw2BuA5xdKbJoKb_nKGRa7Qew8fxdbhzepeJaW4iDoBHyonawbu9Eo5Rz4DRYLnIeDzLW-dXboA7UYPQzDOyGHogF7Z10fcXumpjSHN-/s640/blogger-image--1316119235.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXIEcYw8MZnCM6AkkQtwBK4BJh_j4eUr4GMtW-cw2BuA5xdKbJoKb_nKGRa7Qew8fxdbhzepeJaW4iDoBHyonawbu9Eo5Rz4DRYLnIeDzLW-dXboA7UYPQzDOyGHogF7Z10fcXumpjSHN-/s640/blogger-image--1316119235.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjncRYBjp4P3scDcppKmgrFpzoy6mDIYBVflByRIXp-hVHsA81fKqb3EK9sgZHw6mJ-DWEc_xmYU3SGIyU4fPtxe9-eZIIzcggwDwNCMliNO7I75wOJPEPOEa0yrlu4-ETeKM3ftSumfu7b/s640/blogger-image-252145042.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjncRYBjp4P3scDcppKmgrFpzoy6mDIYBVflByRIXp-hVHsA81fKqb3EK9sgZHw6mJ-DWEc_xmYU3SGIyU4fPtxe9-eZIIzcggwDwNCMliNO7I75wOJPEPOEa0yrlu4-ETeKM3ftSumfu7b/s640/blogger-image-252145042.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">scarlet knew we were leaving the zoo today so she plopped herself down in the middle of the walkway and simply said "No". everyone thought she was darling :)</div>Law Rhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04461562106060958746noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573488013654220751.post-83528599515154741002012-02-20T12:48:00.000-08:002013-11-06T21:59:21.770-08:00ba-ba.i think we can all agree that raising children is the most rewarding, heart swelling, heart aching thing a human can do. when I'm away from my kids i feel an emptiness. life isn't complete without my kids. but this weekend i left them for two (point 5) days (2.5) (thats two and a half) with jeremys parents. <br />
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now my kids still take a bottle. and i don't care. you know why? because i can't nurse them anymore and that makes me sad. i see giving my children a bottle as a form of comfort. is conrad 2 1/2 years old. YOU BETCHA. am i ashamed he still has a bottle before bedtime? NOT AT ALL. and for those of you mothers judging me, guess what, i don't care at all. in fact i hold my head high. at the end of the day we are all so tired. we feed the kids, bathe them, and then cuddle them in their warm clean pajamas, read books and they suck on their little bottles and sink deep into mommy and daddys lap. </div>
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while we were away i told jeremys mom to give the kids their bottles. she is anti bottles!! no bottles! "grandma doesn't give bottles". i told jeremy he better tell his mom my children will have a bottle if they want one or so help me! no one denies my children of something that is comforting to them while we are away for my birthday/valentines for two nights. </div>
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when we arrived to pick them up sunday i was informed my children were not given bottles, or conrad his pacifier. jeremys mom proudly bragged and praised herself in the fact that my children didn't have a single bottle the entire time. i was so upset. i strongly felt like its not her right or responsibility to take away the bottle from my children. i am their mother and only i can and will have that hanging over my head. i felt like my whole body went numb when she kept bringing it up over and over. she was proud of herself. she said "they didn't ask for a bottle the entire time!". i know thats not true. </div>
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did my kids ask for a bottle when we got home? of course they did. </div>
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i guess my pride is hurt because i wasn't the one to take away the bottle. i don't need someone else stepping in to do my job. she even told me she tried making him go potty on the toilet. i just...thast my job you know? even if she meant well, there has to be common sense in all this. </div>
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parenting is hard is so many different ways. its hard when someone steps in from the outside and tries to tell you how to even raise your own kids. the kids i carried for 9 months, gave birth to, nursed 80 times a day to keep alive. the same children i bathed, fed, and rocked every single night of their lives. MY OWN KIDS. </div>
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thats it. how would you feel moms? </div>
Law Rhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04461562106060958746noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573488013654220751.post-10558341703050594462012-02-10T22:28:00.000-08:002013-11-06T21:53:45.842-08:00SUNDAY FUNDAY!!Jeremy and i were asked to speak this sunday in church. <div><br /></div><div>the sunday we were asked we sat in the front row <b>FRONT</b> AND CENTER, NICE TO MEET YOU! bonus: we came in late. so as i walked from the very back of the chapel down that long, long, aisle to the VERY FRONT ROW i could feel everyones eyes burning on my christian louboutin six inch stilettos. Okay my shoes were from Marshalls but lets not get off topic here shall we? we are giving a talk in church for goodness sakes! </div><div><br /></div><div>As we sat in the <b>front row </b>I tried to remain as incognito as I could. you know, lay down on the pew, putting my face in Jeremy's coat jacket, silencing my cell phone..what normal people do when they don't want the bishopric to notice you. oh side note: we came in late that sunday. oh but did i say that already? </div><div><br /></div><div>Church is over. We're headed out the door. FREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! after three very long hours in half nursery/half the hallway with crying kids/the opening prayer in sunday school before the nursery leaders dragged my sorry behind BACK INTO NURSERY. (i hate you guys by the way. jk i love you. jk i hate you. unless you're reading this then you're doing a great job not calming my kids down.) </div><div><br /></div><div>okay wait, where was i? okay. walking out of church two girls stop me to chat. they talked to me so long that a member of the bishopric just so happened to grab jeremy by the neck tie and say in a cold deep smokers voice, "we'd like for you and your wife to speak this sunday". actually he had one of those machines you hold up to your throat when you lose your vocal cords, and I'm totally joking...</div><div><br /></div><div>I finished up talking to the girls making pretend plans with them (in my head, because i hate making play dates with girls i hardly know, SO SUE ME!). My husband and the member of the bishopric are standing there and jeremy informs me "WE'RE SPEAKING THIS SUNDAY!!" to which i replied (this is a true story) "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" (and i threw my head back)(No seriously, i threw my head back. While this poor man was just standing there.) They both laughed and I did not. NO I DID NOT. I kept a straight face and said "Well didn't you tell him we'd be out of town?! Because we're going out of town remember?!" Again they both laughed. Again I said, "no seriously, i don't want to!" and then the laughs became just a half smile. Jeremy eventually walked away and it was just me and this evil man. So I said again, "no but really, thanks for ruining my Super Bowl sunday". To which he replied by looking down at his shoes and looking so uncomfortable he'd probably rock in the corner and cry if he wasn't in a public place. I giggled my feminine laugh and said "Oh I'm just kidding!!" and then he smiled and I walked away. </div><div><br /></div><div>On the way to the car I told Jeremy "I told you we shouldn't have gone to church today!". </div><div><br /></div><div>okay but on a more serious note. is it safe to say i have writers block? for a church talk. because i do. i can't even think of an introduction for ourselves. I'm at a total blank. </div><div><br /></div><div>So far I have...</div><div>"Hi, im lauren but my friends call me law rhen, JK!!!!!!!!1 and we're the hoovers! like the vacuum!!! (and i'd whisper under my breath...)"at blogspot.com"...</div>Law Rhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04461562106060958746noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573488013654220751.post-50740471663457706092012-01-08T21:19:00.000-08:002013-11-06T21:53:45.852-08:00nursery.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL_9XlkNrC5ZUWz3sbnpPzlymUb0TdCV4AfSu-LjiwiUc-YyRTrVJa78oKrXJS4y-ZsNT7b3BJ2GSjxdJ6QuBR0HadI7Mx27w2LU56j3ogawVYzO0s5Rdrn9_m1doRqve5_mdWPGWssuYl/s1600/blogger-image-1050644965.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL_9XlkNrC5ZUWz3sbnpPzlymUb0TdCV4AfSu-LjiwiUc-YyRTrVJa78oKrXJS4y-ZsNT7b3BJ2GSjxdJ6QuBR0HadI7Mx27w2LU56j3ogawVYzO0s5Rdrn9_m1doRqve5_mdWPGWssuYl/s320/blogger-image-1050644965.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5695502633558405202" /></a><br />hey lauren! its me, Lauren! its you! hey! you look so pretty right now. i do? thanks! no really, like STUNNINGLY gorgeous. like, you have a butt that just won't quit. seriously? yea, for reals. gee, i mean, i know but wow, all this coming from you? YES! you incredible creature.<br /><br />today marked the day of both kids going into nursery!!! don't be alarmed. that noise you just heard was angles blowing their trumpets in your living room. wasn't it magical? did you get goosebumps just READING that? i know, me too. lets hold hands.<br /><br />in our church. when your child turns 18 months they get to go into nursery! ---oh sorry, i'll tell the angles to stop blowing that horn. they can't help it every time you read that.<br /><br />so i blissfully skipped and leaped and did lunges and ran and jumped along the wall and did cart wheels and somersaults all the way to the nursery doors. in a DRESS no less, you guys! i shoved conrad in with all my might, and gave him a glass of water, and patted him on the head and yes this is all stolen out of the grinch who stole christmas. no but really, and then TEARS. sobbing, snot dripping, hysterical tears. from my 2 1/2 year old WHOSHOULDBEUSEDTONURSERYBYNOWBUTHESNOTSOBACKOFF!!!! and scarlet? oh miss independent practically strut into nursery like she owned the place. she did a sassy black girl snap back and forth and everything. and then she taught all the girls how to do the "bend and snap" and all the boys were drooling over scarlet. oh my dear scarlet!<br /><br />except, once conrad started to SOB then scarlet began to SOB and then i began to walk out of nursery and not look back. and then the nursery leader said WHY DONT YOU STAY?! and then jeremy laughed a hard evil laugh and peaced out of there! i held out my hand for him, and when the door shut i looked out that glass window and held my face right up against it and i began to sob.<br /><br />so for the r453464564Ed4533435 sunday in a ROW, i was in nursery YET AGAIN. and don't get me wrong i LOVE(hate) it in there!! and then when i asked the nursery leader if they mind if i just "slipped out" she said "WHY HEAVENS NO!!! stay at LEAST 2 weeks!" (no i swear to you, she said that) and then i threw a tantrum and threw my goldfish crackers on the floor.<br /><br />i dreamed of the day both my kids would be old enough to be in nursery. later suckers! mama gets 2 free hours to herself! (where obviously i would skip church, get star bucks and take a nap in the parking lot) BUT NO! they cry. and so i stay. and i do so with a heavy loving heart.<br /><br />so let it be known you guys! if you think I'm inactive, just peer through the nursery doors and you'll see me, melting small small small. (primary song joke. if you're mormon you get it. if you're not, its about a snow man. you're welcome.)Law Rhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04461562106060958746noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573488013654220751.post-30595480468757500442011-12-07T18:02:00.001-08:002013-11-06T21:53:45.848-08:00i'd like to file a complaint?every single day i pick up my house. when the kids go to bed thats when i do most of the work. dishes, vacuuming ecter-freaking-ra. so on friday night before jeremy came home i picked it up in a frenzied panic. dishes! counters! sweeping! and so forth. by the very next morning it looked like i had done nothing. saturday after the kids went to bed i cleaned the house for hours. HOURS. <div><br /></div><div>dishes again. sweeping. vacuuming. mopping. the bathrooms. dusted. washed our sheets and duvet and put them back on the bed. put away 2 cases of water bottles in our fridge, organized, folded laundry. i was a cleaning machine! i told jeremy when he woke up to please help me keep the house clean because i had gone to so much work the 2 nights before and never got to enjoy it. </div><div><br /></div><div>by 4:30 the next day my house was a WRECK. crumbs all over my floor. toys all over. all the dvds pulled out of the cupboard, tons of dishes in the sink, the floor looked like i hadn't just spent an hour totally making it spotless. it was awful. we gathered the kids together to go to dinner at jeremys parents and i tried really hard not to cry. </div><div><br /></div><div>i was so exhausted. even just the sunday before i made jeremy take the kids over to his parents so i could clean the house for a few hours in peace. i told him if the average person had gone to as much hard work as i had 7 days ago it would not look like our house now. at jeremys parents house i had to hide my head in a pillow laying down on the couch so no one could see the tears swelling up in my eyes. it took everything in me to not break down and scream out "being a mom is HARD!!!!" </div><div><br /></div><div>so since sunday i've vacuumed a few times, put away toys, the bare essentials but i can't bring myself to motivate myself to clean anymore than your "make the bed daily" chores. its a mess. and i care so much. its like I've been through horrible torture and i just can't bring myself to get back to where i left off. I'm too traumatized by the whole situation of it all. </div><div><br /></div><div>and i have to admit, laying down and reading a book every night, instead of picking up for hours and then going to bed is so much nicer. but help me! what do i do? i'd rather die than pick up ONE MORE MESS. and my floors? OH MY FLOORS!!!!!!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUAZDdPzy3tGLL2mg6pPFUllQnnSRd_vVtLxhD9Xn2a3SzJSlVnw_qkhXOFFttJuEz1Z0tQubKb_SfnU9LHmYI8Q0zyctVzdCHTCsx6NUM6tHYqXGFF6gOvudy9ooSDdMmChZr0uXVnOBb/s640/blogger-image-35145510.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUAZDdPzy3tGLL2mg6pPFUllQnnSRd_vVtLxhD9Xn2a3SzJSlVnw_qkhXOFFttJuEz1Z0tQubKb_SfnU9LHmYI8Q0zyctVzdCHTCsx6NUM6tHYqXGFF6gOvudy9ooSDdMmChZr0uXVnOBb/s640/blogger-image-35145510.jpg" /></a></div><br />(when scarlet broke her bowl the other morning)Law Rhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04461562106060958746noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573488013654220751.post-17354770751867379502011-11-18T07:02:00.000-08:002013-11-06T21:53:45.845-08:00its a code war!<center><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMT9FWDxO_vi62ZkNGw_kBF5QmWscX1dHV5p0_AZLyvBy9qUDZvuIFcmOshOsp9AvrxznOC1CFs6MAPg7BSryGZODE3d8EPiCl8QOubIq-JQNVmdwMYAs8FVt6HpZ3-7JnoJZY7jZ8Taxf/s1600/IMG_0272.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMT9FWDxO_vi62ZkNGw_kBF5QmWscX1dHV5p0_AZLyvBy9qUDZvuIFcmOshOsp9AvrxznOC1CFs6MAPg7BSryGZODE3d8EPiCl8QOubIq-JQNVmdwMYAs8FVt6HpZ3-7JnoJZY7jZ8Taxf/s320/IMG_0272.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5676357879061556354" /></a></center><br />there are major pros and cons to a husband that travels. usually i think its a huge con after a 5 day work week of just me. usually i think its a pro after a 5 day work week. HERE ME OUT.<div>there is absolutely zero balance in anything. its either total extreme or polar opposite. sometimes he's been gone for 2 weeks at a time, and usually when that happens he comes home to find me with my hair sticking straight up, my hands contorted in a way like a 90yr old woman with carpel tunnel and I'm lying face down while stray cats groom my hair and body for me. this only happens 99.100% of the time though. see what i did there? did you think i was going to say 99.9%? </div><div><br /></div><div>the pro to having a husband who travels is sometimes you get to sleep in! usually the first day, and heck, if he really loves you (he loves me) he'll let me go 2..and sometimes our mornings even start like this!....</div><div><br /></div><div>6:50AM-the sound of our toddler waking up. he usually screams bloody murder in his way of saying "dear mother, riseth and shine, for i am awake and tis a day for hearkening and i pooped my pants". or SOMETIMES if you're really lucky he'll just whine at his door over and over to only be described as asking your alarm to set itself to the "nails on a chalkboard" setting and just telling it to surprise you at any given time of morning. but remember alarm clock, not after 7am because that would just be ludicrous! and your alarm goes, "dude! I'm not crazy! of course I'm going to go off multiple times a night full volume, but before 7am? you think I'm crazy?!" and i say "screw you alarm clock! you adorable thing you." </div><div>and then 99.100% of our conversations start like this. FIRST THING. (no, "good morning beautiful!" oh look, your here too jeremy.)</div><div><br /></div><div>me: you going to get him? </div><div>jer: im so tired</div><div>me: i kept telling you to go to bed last night.</div><div>jer: just get up with him. you can take naps, i can't. </div><div>me: i know, but i've been up with them the past 2 mornings. plus i cleaned the entire house yesterday, and my body hurts from working out. and i took care of them while you were out of town for the day. plus you kept me up all night because you wouldn't go to bed!</div><div>jer: fine but i get to sleep in next week every single day. (he just gets to make up rules like this?!)</div><div>(i swear to you, verbatim)</div><div><br /></div><div>thats how seriously, almost every.single.one. of our mornings go when he's in town. sometimes we stick to a system, of every other day the person gets up with the kids, but then that turns into a "who did more" war. </div><div><br /></div><div>and then i wake up and i find dishes in the sink, crumbs as far as the eye can see, a pile of poopy diapers next to the front door, goldfish crackers smashed and embedded into my rug, sticky spots throughout the tile, dirty highchair trays, piles of blankets, every single toy of Conrad's slewed throughout the house...</div><div><br /></div><div>and then i get on my hamster wheel and begin to clean it all up again, while messes are being made as i go. but i have to do it, in case someone stops by and thinks we're growing goldfish crackers like crystal meth spewing up from the carpet. because what else would explain all those crumbs? </div><div><br /><center><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg4Qcg7hiMxmgi-EIjj7-yhtV9lrAQ2zuS369AYU7shemPW-_eIbJjQ7gu2NZ6tSEUU77a6PyBozTIyPaXzEqaD97HoyC8ri5UgLb_aV645aURUYKRib1xdzpoeJlDNOC_nCwwcoRsMo3c/s1600/IMG_0269.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg4Qcg7hiMxmgi-EIjj7-yhtV9lrAQ2zuS369AYU7shemPW-_eIbJjQ7gu2NZ6tSEUU77a6PyBozTIyPaXzEqaD97HoyC8ri5UgLb_aV645aURUYKRib1xdzpoeJlDNOC_nCwwcoRsMo3c/s320/IMG_0269.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5676357872674876082" /></a><br /></center></div>Law Rhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04461562106060958746noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6573488013654220751.post-29395345110495093362011-11-08T01:47:00.000-08:002013-11-06T21:53:45.847-08:00Journal.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnyp8lswI_eaNoMZi26d8P7fcavvj122io3R85cDoc7lplq25enZpJxt1CKFWfIwZp97rEQelpM0ob7evt5Wv8gYOXTC_QtuZU8-GDtlT5yVGUQIEzbC2MmFHB29eMWoyVVvWnPg_Y9eS3/s1600/IMG_0318-1.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 390px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnyp8lswI_eaNoMZi26d8P7fcavvj122io3R85cDoc7lplq25enZpJxt1CKFWfIwZp97rEQelpM0ob7evt5Wv8gYOXTC_QtuZU8-GDtlT5yVGUQIEzbC2MmFHB29eMWoyVVvWnPg_Y9eS3/s320/IMG_0318-1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5672579476819896802" /></a><br /><br />I've turned mental.<br /><br />well, not really. BUT MAYBE SO QUITE REALLY O'RLY AND YA'RLY?<br /><br />but I'm thinking of baby number 3. THREE! then we will be out numbered! 3-2! a family of 5! that means an extra bedroom in the house, or gasp! a child sharing a room! (did a fairy just fall down and die somewhere? quick clap your hands!) and whoever the 3rd child is will share with scarlet or <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">conrad</span>, depending on the gender, and one of them could be thrilled or really upset. secretly i hope for another girl and boy. and then a bigger car. perhaps a mini van? can you imagine the horror of the dorkiest car ever invented? yet SO practical! now, don't get too excited. i know (hope) i won't get pregnant until they are both in school. kindergarten at least. etc <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">etc</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">etc</span>. i like the idea of being a young mom also. many of my friends have pointed out that my kids will be out of the house when I'm 40 (and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">jeremy</span> is 36 RIGHT now <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">ya'll</span>...yes I'm 12 years younger than him. i love to bring this up to him 900 times a day. the very least.) <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">i'd</span> love to have kids while I'm really young so I'm not grey haired and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">crippled</span> like my old man husband. (he loves when i bring this up too.)<br /><br />i love the idea of my children crawling up into my bed and us having heart to hearts. family nights, family bike rides, swimming in the pool, the girls helping me bake cookies, the boys outside digging in the mud etc etc etc... big families are where its at! the girls can go to dance class together, and be each others support in school. i really hope scarlet and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">conrad</span> are close and loving to each other when older. if not mommy will ground them till they are 18!! but seriously nursing. words can't even explain the wonderfulness that is nursing! you and your baby all alone in the middle of the night, and all you hear are baby coos and the sound of your precious baby devouring your chest. and the tiny hand that rests on the top of your gigantic engorged breast?! WHAT COULD BE BETTER?! ice cream? HARDLY. sex? actually..maybe so....<br /><br />OKAY but this house! this gorgeous house that consumes my EVERY waking thought! where is it?!<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">theres</span> this hidden little street here in mesa filled with Victorian homes and the house on the very end of the street was for sale! it was white with a wrap around porch on the end of a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">cul</span>-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">de</span>-sac. the backyard had horse stables! but could you imagine?! complete with a pool and spa. i peeked in and the floors were wood, crown molding, and a dining room with red walls (MY VERY FAVORITE!). the door was glass and my heart was bursting in every direction! i made <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">jeremy</span> call the realtor immediately and it was JUST sold! oh woe is me! every now and again i make <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">jeremy</span> drive me by my dream home and its currently being fixed up by someone! we wonder if someone bought the house and is flipping it (even though its in perfect condition). hopefully someday it will be for sale again and it will be MINE! and i can look back at this post and say YES! IN YOUR FACE! (why am i being mean to myself?)<br /><br /><div>so what are your thoughts? is 3 really hard? or do i got it in the bag?</div><div><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">i'll</span> stop by and take a picture of it hopefully tomorrow to show you all just what I'm talking about.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVjzgIPiw_tMNx1vDqi1uPbW1SMS_ePe8w2EDZAwDalwYZU0WGsl5EJHGt09EqkhU2GYcKP_Il2snzmx8svAPfTUEoF4m6Q1Jp1guVJJrrF3jNwrro_FWHC948TqIXMXuUULZJgo9YcZJr/s1600/IMG_0240-2-1.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 390px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVjzgIPiw_tMNx1vDqi1uPbW1SMS_ePe8w2EDZAwDalwYZU0WGsl5EJHGt09EqkhU2GYcKP_Il2snzmx8svAPfTUEoF4m6Q1Jp1guVJJrrF3jNwrro_FWHC948TqIXMXuUULZJgo9YcZJr/s320/IMG_0240-2-1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5672589868110250130" /></a><br />(when we locked the kids out the other night. yes, scarlets naked)</div>Law Rhenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04461562106060958746noreply@blogger.com4